5 Effective Ways to overcome the feeling of guilt
A Life / / December 19, 2019
Healthy and unhealthy wine
When we think about wine and guilt, the first thing pops up an image of the criminal. This is logical, because a person who has violated the basic laws and moral standards, should not be regarded as a hero and, in general, does not feel good. Otherwise, society will simply cease to exist.
In an environment where people freely and joyously kill each other, humanity will not survive long.
In addition, the wine helps us stick to our own values. When we do something, coming against them, we feel unwell. And this is good: so we are less likely to bring their own ideals and hurt the people we value and respect.
But guilt can also occur at the most insignificant occasions and acquire terrifying proportions. For example, in cases when a person hates himself because eaten piece of cake; berates himself on was worth, because I forgot about the recording to the doctor; fancies himself the latest selfish as allegedly not doing enough for the family, friends or partner. Here there is already an obvious problem.
Why is there excessive guilt
Reason may be weight, but they tend to have a psychological character. Here are a few examples:
1. Exaggerated guilt can be a symptom of clinical depression.
2. Guilt may be due to childhood trauma or post-traumatic stress disorder. Traumatic wine takes different forms, ranging from "survivors guilt" (occurs in those who are saved in the disaster) to the charges themselves for the "better" part (may occur in people who have relatives or loved ones with physical, intellectual or mental problems).
3. Wines may be due to low self-esteem, which is often formed under the influence of toxic parents.
Whatever the reason, we can and must be fought with an unhealthy sense of guilt.
How to overcome the feeling of guilt
At first glance, these techniques may seem simple, however, will take time and effort, so they began to work. Because in fact you need to change the usual way of thinking. So be patient. And do not blame yourself if things do not turn out.
1. Look for evidence of innocence
If you feel guilty, because it is not doing enough for your family, household and anyone else, write down the things that you regularly have to do.
It may even be small things, such as a cup of coffee in the morning or a few kind words. In any case you spend on them their energy.
Carry this list with you at all times and refer to it when you feel a new stab of guilt. Of course, over time it can be supplemented.
2. Talk to a source of guilt
Ask the people that like you think you neglect about their feelings. It is possible that all of the possible claims - only the fruit of your mind.
Otherwise, including critical thinking. Consider how the situation would appreciate an observer. he would have thought that you are really doing enough to close or agreed that close call on you too much?
In the first case you will have to work together to find a compromise solution in the second - to start to get used to the idea that the charges are groundless.
3. Value yourself and all that you do
Make it a rule at the end of the day to write down at least three of its achievements: for example, that you have done to others or to achieve their own goals. At the end of each week READ these lists.
Low self-esteem, perfectionism and guilt are forced to focus on what you did or did wrong. By focusing on the achievements you eradicate this pernicious habit.
4. Fight with the black-and-white thinking
Thoughts in the spirit of "all or nothing" - also intrigues harmful perfectionism. What they appear? At least in the fact that you think you are any better in the light of partner / parent / child, or worse. There is no third. But in life between black and white there are still plenty of gray shades that people with an inflated sense of guilt simply ignore.
Your goal - to learn to see and understand. Yes, perhaps, your behavior is not perfectly, but it is not terrible.
5. Look for hidden emotions
Wine often masks other feelings: anger, fear, resentment. This situation may arise in a relationship with a partner who acts out the role of a victim, or is the most common daffodil. He can convince you that every minute spent not with him and not for him - an attack of wild egoism. As a result, you feel guilty, denying him, or wasting time on his business, although at heart angry, offended or afraid to spoil relations.
What to do? First, look inward and find hidden feelings. In this case, it makes sense to think about psychotherapy. Second, continue to defend their right to their own lives, even if there is a threat rupture of relations. The pleasure of union in which you feel like a prisoner, it is still questionable.