Why is it useful to listen to those with whom you disagree

When I was in fourth grade, my mother decided that I need to study in a private school to get the best education. I was one of the few black students and inevitably confronted with racial prejudice.

The parents of some of my friends as soon as he saw me, came to the conclusion that my main talent - basketball. It saddens me that because of my race it was difficult to see the student in me who likes to read, write and talk.

Such experiences have motivated me to work tirelessly to deny the installation of others. that make a good impressionI had to be patient, observant and painfully ladylike. To prove that I fit in, I had to radiate confidence, good to talk and to listen carefully. Only then my peers would see that I deserve to be among them.

At university, I joined a group of students who were invited to lecture controversial speakers. Many were against these people, and I was faced with a serious rebuff to students, teachers and administration. People did not understand the value of such statements and saw only harm them. It was sad to watch the personal attacks and the cancellation of lectures, hear how others misinterpret my intentions.

I realized that my work touches the feelings of many people. I myself like to hear speakers who claim that feminism - it is a war against men, or that black IQ is lower than that of whites. And I realize that some have experienced trauma, and listening to these aggressive attacks are sometimes akin to experience them again.

But ignoring the opposing opinions does not destroy them, because millions of people continue to agree with them.

I believe that by interacting with provocative and offensive ideas, we can find common ground. If not by the speakers, then with the audience they are trying to brainwash. Through this interaction, we deeply understand their own attitudes and learning solve problems. This is not possible if we do not talk to each other and do not try to listen to others.

I know from my experience that change the value of the intellectual community very difficult. But when I think of personal communication with people who support my work, and those who are against it, I feel hope. This personal contact makes a great deal.

For example, some time ago, I met with the political scientist Charles Murray (Charles Murray). In 1994 he wrote a highly controversial book The Bell Curve ( «The bell curve"), in which there are allegations that some other intelligent race. During our conversation, I better understood his arguments.

I saw that he, like me, believe in a more just society. Only his sense of justice is very different from mine.

And the way he approaches the problems of inequality, is also different from my approach. I noticed that his interpretation of issues such as social security and positive discrimination, tied to the understanding of libertarian and conservative beliefs. Although he eloquently express their views, they have still failed to convince. But I better understood his position.

To make progress, despite the difficulties, we need a sincere desire to better understand humanity. I would like to see a world in which more leaders thoroughly familiar with the views of those with whom they disagree, and understand the characteristics of all those present. And it needs to develop empathy and deepen the knowledge, closer getting to know other people's points of view.