3 types of perfectionism that destroys your life

Many people know the feeling, as if the surrounding watching every action and just waiting for a miss. Perhaps you yourself sometimes do so. Or unnecessarily criticize himself. All this manifestation of perfectionism. It is divided into three types: self-directed, directed at others and imposed by society.

According to a recent studyPerfectionism Is Increasing Over Time: A Meta-Analysis of Birth Cohort Differences From 1989 to 2016With perfectionism faced by virtually all. Scientists have analyzed the results of psychological tests of 40 thousand students from America, Britain and Canada from 1989 to 2016. It turned out recently, all three types of perfectionism became more common.

Reporter Vestmaas Reuben (Reuben Westmaas) I told the conclusions of researchers and shared his own opinions.

What is perfectionism

1. Perfectionism directed the

This type is closest to what we usually mean by perfectionism. Those who are prone to it, impose impossible demands to itself. They are considering every detail in their actions, looking for mistakes. And when something goes wrong, it suffers from

feelings of guilt. Even if the situation was beyond their control.

You might think that this behavior is not harmful. However, according to the study authors, directed by the perfectionism associated with different measures of social maladjustment. Including anxiety, anorexia nervosa and minor depression. Depressed mood can occur even due to a mismatch between himself and the idea of ​​the perfect ourselves.

2. Perfectionism, aimed at other

If in the first case, your criticism is directed on himselfThen the second type of perfectionism it spreads more and others. You think you're all doing well, but others need to catch up. And waiting for the impossible from relatives, friends and colleagues.

The researchers note that such perfectionists are often trust issues, the transfer of guilt and latent hostility. Thus they can be good leaders. It is only necessary to restrain the desire to criticize, especially at home.

3. Perfectionism imposed by society

This is perhaps the most insidious form of perfectionism. It is called the representation (not necessarily true), that others impose on you to excessive demands. From this arises the feeling that you keep all connections and are unable to carry out what you want from.

This type of perfectionism as the previous one, can harm relations with others, because it affects the self-esteem. If you constantly feel that you have no other set at naught, then you yourself cease to appreciate yourself.

Why perfectionism is now so widespread

According to the authors, the spread of perfectionism is associated with an increase in the popularity of neo-liberalism. According to the direction of political and economic philosophy, competition between people and hard antikollektivizm make the world a better place. It would seem that if everyone would try to outdo the other, all mankind would be better. But this is not a recipe for success, but the way to a nervous breakdown.

If in such a system believe that success is only possible because the internal advantages, there is a concomitant negative phenomenon. Everyone who is not able to be deemed unworthy.

Of course, it is impossible to say exactly what neoliberalism has caused a wholesale distribution of perfectionism. Yet think about how you affect the desire to be the best in everything.

see also

• 6 good reasons to abandon perfectionism →
• 9 hidden signs that you are a perfectionist →
• Why actually suffering perfectionists →