5 true techniques of female self-esteem
A Life / / December 19, 2019
Layfhaker collected five tips on many open their eyes and help to improve the view of his beloved.
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1. Stop thinking of yourself as "just a woman"
Society gives us the idea that women are inconsistent, can not find themselves, so at work, many feel an impostor, claiming someone else's place getter. At home, the women suffer from the fact that because of employment can not devote enough time to "true female" cases: the creation of comfort, care of children and so on.
The confusion in social roles, can not be broken between the diametrically opposed to the status of "purposeful Amazon" to colleagues and business partners and "affectionate domestic cats" for her husband and children leads to the fact that a woman loses confidence, begins to doubt their own abilities.
At first glance, everything is so. Indeed, women have many reasons for doubt. But the important thing is that men such occasions no less.
There is no evidence that women suffer from low self-esteem are more likely than men.
In his column in the popular edition of Psychology Today a professor of psychology at Yale University by Susan Nolen-Hoeksema (Susan Nolen-Hoeksema), author of the book "Power of Women", cites research which have captured about 100 thousand man. It is clearly proved that the girls self-esteem is not lower than that of young men. Although women are more concerned with their appearance than men, there is no difference between the degree of their self-esteem. Moreover, girls demonstrate a higher self-esteem in regard to the moral and ethical issues and control over their behavior.
The fact that some women still find themselves unable to compete with men, and do not deserve something more, Professor Nolen-Hoeksema blames social stereotypes. Yes, the ones on the "weak" field. These views, if a woman is trying it on yourself, can become something of a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you believe that you are weak, and all of life's complexities are not caused by a complex of objective reasons, only your weakness and uselessness, that self-esteem can really falter.
The conclusion here is simple: stop believing in something that makes you weaker. You are first and foremost a person who is entitled to claim the success exactly the same way as everyone else.
2. Closer Look that destroys your self-esteem
Demolition factors are at all. In men, it is, for example, a small increase. Or a small penis. Or the inability to fight back. Or the inability to quickly find the right words. If you think that it does not drop the ladder in their own eyes - it only seems.
Women have their own factors. Here are the three most common.
Experience - especially in front of some important event - characterized by both sexes. But if a man is usually able to be switched, the women's nerves often get out of control. This feature of the female psyche. And this is the case when "forewarned - is forearmed."
Take it for granted that before an important event for you ponakruchivat you pull yourself poperezhivat, with often from scratch. "In the dusty environment I sneeze, sweat during exercise, and before an important meeting worry, this is normal, and it is possible to simply ignore" - an example of the current mantra.
This factor is also of givens category: women own appearance disturbs much more than men. The reasons why the ladies are ashamed of their face or body, will not go. We only note that this factor is quite possible to fight. And the methods of struggle there for every taste.
You can, for example, effectively enhance the attractiveness of its own, doing sports. Or, say, feel the concept bodipozitiva - Learn accept and love yourself for what you are. Or banal: to consult your stylist to reconsider wardrobe, enroll in a barber shop and a beautician and get out of all these salons girl of his dreams.
Excessive propensity for self-analysis and analysis of other people's actions
"Yes, he said that, but probably meant something quite different!", "She invited us to dinner, why would? Probably want to ask something, "" I'm not sure if it's a good offer... And if tomorrow I will have other interests? "- every woman notice of a similar thought.
In general, there is nothing wrong with that. Instead, they talk about the development of emotional intelligence - a high sensitivity to the needs of their own and of others, empathy, the ability to navigate the social relationships between people. But there is an important caveat: the uncontrolled emotional intelligence can become a passion for over-analysis and reflection, with the result that significantly complicate your life. Fortunately, it is quite amenable to training.
3. Use popular methods to improve self-esteem
Both sexes can effectively use the universal recommendations for the development of self-love:
- 9 easiest ways to improve your self-esteem →
- 6 ways to boost their self-esteem →
Besides these, you can focus more on methods that take into account the physical and psychological characteristics of women is.
Find a comfortable way to look taller
"Looking down" - is not just an ordinary phrase of snobbery. This is one of the principles on which social relations work: high growth, we subconsciously perceive as one of the signs of a leader. HereFor example, you can read a detailed article authoritative American edition of Business Insider on this subject: it collected the benefits that accrue to a person due to the growth. Subliminal perception creates reality, and if you feel physically above the others, at the same time increases and your self-esteem.
Female relative may simply feel "majestic", if put on high-heeled shoes or platform, or at least raise taller seat office chair that during the negotiations to rise above counterparts. Yes, exercises to increase growth, too, can have a positive effect.
Watch your posture
Straight back has a powerful influence on behavior and self-perceptions. The reason is largely physiologic: A raised chin and straightened her shoulders causing the release of testosterone - "courageous" hormone, which gives assertiveness and self-confidence. In addition, the proud posture reduces stress and reduces anxiety.
Confidence is often related to how much space we occupy in space. Remember wildlife: large dominant animals move boldly and impressively. And these are the hunted, on the contrary, try to be as small as possible and unobtrusively. Gestures during conversation helps to expand the place in a space that you occupy. As a result, you will feel more freedom and confidence.
If you are not accustomed to gestures, should be trained in the mirror to find exactly those movements that look most natural.
Do not cross your arms on chest
This closed attitude is also a way to seem small and unobtrusive, so put her hands on the man of the world is perceived by others as weak. Yes, and he begins to feel so.
During a call, you do not know what to do with his hands, Abut their hips: put hands on waist, elbows bent. It is an open posture, from which emanates confidence.
Do not be afraid to laugh at his blunders
Insecure people tend to justify or conceal errors. Sure they know how to take responsibility for their decisions - both good and bad. Say "Yes, I made a mistake here, the next time it will be necessary to do otherwise" is actually much easier than it seems. And this markerBy which determine the surrounding psychologically strong person.
Ask yourself the question "So what?"
Often we are afraid of some things that actually do not have significant consequences. To sober himself in such moments, it is useful to ask the question "So what?". For example:
- "I want to announce it, but then other people will not support me?" - what?
- "I'd like to go to this event, but I'm there almost no one do not know ..." - what?
- "I can remember that talking on during the presentation of" - what?
This simplest express introspection allows us to understand that even under the most adverse scenario of events is nothing terrible will happen to you. So, it is safe to operate.
Find an object to follow
Among the people around you for sure there will be those who demonstrate confident behavior and self-esteem. Look to him. Try to act like them. This is one of the options to adopt successful principles of life and the "copy" the desired level of confidence.
4. Follow one's inclinations
Classes love - one of the most effective ways to raise self-esteem. The hardest thing here - to find hobbyThat you really like.
5. Be proactive
There is a very popular version of that low self-esteem - it is a peculiar form of passive aggressionCauses of Passive-Aggressive Behavior. Someone says: "I do not want to!" "I will not!" And someone afraid to voice their refusal to loud sounds and then: "I can not, I'm just a small and weak." Do not believe in yourself - it is often only a way to excuse for their own inaction, blame on others. But this method is fatal.
Low self-esteem can be cured only action. Action (even through fear) → success (even after one or two not very successful attempts) → increased confidence in themselves and their abilities. This is the most effective cure for the lack of love for yourself.