8 beliefs that make you unhappy

1. You have to please everyone

Actually, no. This setting was relevant in prehistoric times, when the relationship with the tribe, and of being in the tribe depended on human life. But since then we have had many new options.

When I began to publish articles on the Internet, I was preparing for Hayter, expecting the worst. But that did not happen. Yes, someone did not like my lyrics. But I had to find people who share certain interests, and I found them. If I tried to please everyone, my posts have been so empty and false, that one would not have hooked up.

You do not have to like everything. You have to like some to be part of the community. Today, this community can be scattered throughout the world.

2. You should be competent in all

Several years ago, someone told my mother that I was not good at housekeeping. Mom was hurt, and I'm not, it's true: I do not like to work at home, I am not competent in this. But okay, I'll give it to someone else. So I enjoy a clean house and nice-smelling clothes, but the time I spend on the important things for me, such as parenting and coaching.

Besides, I do not need to understand something, to enjoy it. I'm not a visual person, I prefer the idea. It does not stop me paint and fasted on Instagram. Why miss the fun just because of the fact that there is no talent?

3. Terrible when everything goes wrong as you want

Life will not always follow your plan. Find a way to take it. Alternatively, try to mentally prepare for all possible options.

Tony Robbins (motivational speaker, coach, best-selling author of life coaching) offers another idea: what if everything goes wrong for your sake? It's true. Some of the most enjoyable things happened in my life, because my plan did not work. If I have the company of my dreams, I would not have found a job at Google. If our house was destroyed in the last year, in this, we would not have moved to a tropical paradise. Happens to you it?

Even if you do not believe, if everything happens for some reason, you can believe in their resourcefulness and the ability to fix it. Sometimes, in the end everything turns out better than you planned.

4. If there is danger, you have to worry about it

My husband has left to this year to go with the family, and there was a risk that when he returned, he did not find a good job. He could have let anxiety destroy our vacation and could have to forget about it and deal with things at the right time. I am glad that he chose the latter. When we got back, he's got two attractive offers.

It is appropriate to recall the words of Mark Twain: "I've known a lot of troubles, but most of them never happened."

5. You determine your past

You can not change the past, but you can change the present and the future. Do not let what has already happened, influence you: you will be examined with open gestalts and continue.

6. People and things should be different

I fall into this trap. My friends have to do more for his happiness. My company should be less politicized. And my husband should be more open to my insane ideas. This thinking pattern causes only disappointment, and it is meaningless. That is, that is, the world does not meet my expectations. When I was less blame and more accept life becomes better.

7. You can be happy without doing anything

Happiness naturally. My child is happy by default. This condition, which includes the pacified mind. But in today's world you have to try to reach it.

The last six months were probably the happiest in my life, and I've worked for this. He moved with his family on a tropical island. I started to train and nap during the day. He continued to improve in coaching. I write and create. Practiced gratitude. I met new people and made friends. She became once again to go on dates with her husband.

Everything needs a workout. Happiness can be a natural state, but you will rarely reach its inaction.

8. Easier to avoid responsibility and difficulty than accept them

I realized the falsity of this conviction in 20 years. I was sick tooth, but I was afraid to pull it out. Finally I went to the dentist and it was not as painful as I had imagined. In addition, the problem disappeared once and for all. Since then I know that it is easier to cope with difficulties, than to try to avoid them.

Another example is related to parenthood. The first years of heavy. But I believe that the more you put in the time, the easier it will be on. You need a lot of work when the children are still small, but when they grow up, they will be more independent and self-confident. take responsibility, You simplify your life in the future.

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The realization of all these irrational thoughts - is a huge step. The next time you find yourself on them, just mark it. Consider whether they help achieve your goals. Give them to calm down. So your mind will gradually move on to something more natural, more common beliefs.