10/10/10 rule will help make a difficult decision
Motivation A Life / / December 19, 2019
When people share their lives made the worst decisions, they often refer to the fact that the choice was made in a fit of instinctive emotions: wrath, Passion, fear and greed.
Our lives would be very different if in life acted Ctrl + Z, which would have abolished the decisions taken.
But we - are not slaves of their moods. Instinctive emotions tend to become dull or even fade. Therefore, popular wisdom recommends that in the case where it is necessary to make an important decision, it is better to go to sleep. Good advice, by the way. It does not hurt to take note! Although many of the solutions of sleep is not enough. It needs a special strategy.
One of the effective tools that we would like to offer you, strategy for achieving success at work and in the life of Suzy Welch (Suzy Welch) - former editor of Harvard Business Review, a popular author, TV commentator and journalist. It is called 10/10/10 and involves making decisions through the prism of three different time frames:
- How are you going to take it 10 minutes later?
- What would you think about the decision after 10 months?
- What would be your reaction to it in 10 years?
Concentrating their attention on these terms, we distance ourselves at some distance from the problems we have adopted an important decision.
Now consider the effect of this rule is an example.
Situation: Veronica has a boyfriend Cyril. They have been dating for 9 months, but their relationship can hardly be called ideal. Veronica says that Kirill - a wonderful man, and in many ways he was the one she was looking for a lifetime. However, she was very worried that their relationship is not moving forward. She was 30, and she wants a family children. An infinite amount of time trying to develop a relationship with Kirill, who at 40, she does not. During these 9 months, she has not met with Cyril daughter from his first marriage, and a couple of them and did not hear the cherished "I love you" with any one nor the other.
Divorce from his wife was horrible. After that, Cyril decided to avoid a serious relationship. In addition, he holds a daughter away from his personal life. Veronica realizes that he's in pain, but she is also a shame that such an important part of the life of her beloved closed to her.
Veronica knows what Cyril does not like to hurry with the decision-making. But whether it is in this case itself a step and say "I love you" first?
The girl was advised to use the rule 10/10/10, and this is what came of it. Veronica asked to submit, though now she must decide - whether Cyril confesses his love at the weekend or not.
Question 1: How do you react to this decision after 10 minutes?
Answer: "I think I'd be worried, but at the same time proud of myself that risked and said it first."
Question 2: What would you think about his decision, if the past 10 months?
Answer: "I do not think I'll regret it after 10 months. No, I will not. I sincerely want to get it. Who does not risk, that does not drink champagne! "
Question 3: How do you react to its decision after 10 years?
Answer: "Regardless of how to react to Kirill, 10 years from the decision to confess love first is unlikely to make a difference. By this time, or we will be happy together, or I'll be in a relationship with someone else. "
Note 10/10/10 usually works! As a result, we have a fairly a simple solution:
Veronica has to take the initiative. She will be proud of yourself, if you do this, and sincerely believes that it is not sorry for what he had done, even if with Cyril the end nothing happens. But it seemed to her extremely difficult without conscious analysis of the situation on 10/10/10 rule making important decisions. Short-term emotions - fear, anxiety, and fear of being rejected - were distractions and deterrents.
What happened with Veronica after - perhaps you are curious. She still said, "I love you" first. In addition, she has tried to do anything to change the situation, and to cease to feel in limbo. Cyril did not confess his love to her. But progress has been obvious: he has become closer to Veronica. She believes that he loves her, that he just needed a little more time to overcome their fear and to admit to feelings of reciprocity. In her opinion, the chances that they will work together to reach 80%.
Eventually
10/10/10 rule helps you to win the game on the emotional field. The feelings that you are experiencing right now, at this moment, seem to be saturated, and sharp, and the future - on the contrary, vague. Therefore, the emotions experienced in the present, always in the foreground.
10/10/10 Change Strategy makes an angle of vision: see point in the future (eg, 10 months) from the same point that you see in the present.
This method allows you to submit your short-term emotions. It is not that you should ignore them. Often, they even help you get what you want in a given situation. But you should not let emotions prevail over you.
Remember about the contrast of emotions is necessary not only in life, but also at work. For example, if you are deliberately avoiding serious conversation with the boss, you let your emotions get the better of you. If you think of the possibility of holding talks, in 10 minutes you'll be as nervous, and after 10 months - whether you'll be glad you decided to take this conversation? You sigh of relief? Or will you feel proud?
But what if you want to encourage the work of a great employee and are going to offer him a raise: Do you doubt the correctness of its decision within 10 minutes, Will you will regret it after 10 months (if the others employees feel left out), and whether this increase have any value for your business after 10 years old?
As you can see, short-term emotions are not always harmful. 10/10/10 Rule suggests that consideration of emotions in the long term - is not the only right one. It only proves that you have experienced short-term feelings can not stand at the head of the table when making your important and responsible decisions.