5 standard motivational errors
Productivity Motivation / / December 19, 2019
To achieve this goal, you need to at least want to start moving in the right direction. Even better, if this goal is also desired. But the way to even the most cherished goal is quite bumpy and you have to do a lot of routine work, which you may can not stand. And here we begin to resort to various tricks to make yourself go through this difficult part of the way. Trying to deceive the routine, we begin to motivate yourself and... immediately step on the standard rake. Because what is considered almost axioms actually might work just the opposite.
The fact that seemingly should motivate us and will lead to the goal, in fact or keeps us on the spot or even alienated.
How many times as a child my grandmother praising my best friend, at exactly the same time I wanted to pull this same friend's scythe stronger. And it's not because I was bad and wicked girl, but because most normal children so responsive. No one likes to be with someone else compared and this comparison is not his side, especially compared with the best friend. But grandmother piously believed that in this way it will ignite a fire in me, and lead me to want to do, as a friend, to do with it, make it better. Wrong? Certainly. More precisely, I was terribly angry and I wanted to do better, to be far ahead and stop... to be friends with her. The leader of this child can and will do, but clearly would deprive close friends, because suddenly comparison would not be in his favor?
And adults. The fact that seemingly should motivate us and will lead to the goal, in fact or keeps us on the spot or even alienated.
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Thus, the error of the first and most common - approval. How in the world sells books and CDs with various affirmations! I - the most beautiful, intelligent, attractive, etc. How many workshops have you heard something like: "Every morning begins with the phrase - I will do something and then something or I'm so-and-so!". Probably hundreds of times. On the one hand, sometimes affirmation work. But they work only if you really believe in it. If faith is not very deep in the subconscious is still a conflict. You're all still know that you're not as what appear to try. It's all much more complex and profound process than just a repetition of the same phrase every morning.
Your alternative - instead of the proposed standard phrases find their own, which is more appropriate to the situation. For example, instead of every morning mumble under his breath something like: "I reach this goal!", Better say, "I undertake every effort to achieve their goal." And it will be more true than the first option. After all, your goal you have not yet reached, but the steps are really taking. Look for the positive statements that really reflect your actions in the process of achieving your goals, and discard the cliché.
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Mistake number two - Visualization. Everyone knows that if you draw on a piece of paper the car / boat / house with a white fence / two children and a dog (your choice), you have all this necessarily will... someday. There are plenty of spiritual practices with visualization. Especially this sin modern psychologists in training for personal growth. Only it does not always work. But no one says, because they want to come back to him about it on the training and did not work because it is not strong enough and would like to believe. One of the reasons that the picture did not come to life, this is what you are spending on power and contemplation razdumyvaniya about how it would be great, instead, to take action.
Your alternative - Add to the visualization of the final result even its execution stage. Thus it will be easier to implement these steps towards the goal, because it will get you already "know" because you have thought them well when visualized. And the goal is no longer seem so complex and far.
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Mistake number three - Strength of will. One of the objectives of willpower is so that we can bring it started to end, despite the obstacles and the various troubles. But even she - a limited resource. When you do something you do not like it, you try every possible way to sweeten the pill. For example, pamper yourself sweet, to raise blood sugar levels and thus give yourself for a while in a good mood. But this can not last for a long time, you will not tolerate the constant stress to achieve a goal that promises light at the end of the tunnel. Especially if achievement - the process is not one year. And to diabetes with weight problems far.
Your alternative - seek a more pleasant way of doing things. This does not mean that you will be delighted with the process, but at least discomfort will be much less. Or as quite an extreme option - to realize that the achievement of this goal for you now is problematic, to put it and proceed with the implementation of other, more pleasant purposes. And after them, maybe you will have interesting solutions to the problems that have arisen on the way to achieving the first goal. If you can not postpone the solution to the problem, you still have to look for a more pleasant solutions.
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Mistake number four - Reward (carrot). The reward can be a pretty good motivation unless it is directly related to what you're doing. "External" as motivation does not work. Premium or an increase in sn motivates only a short time as the issuance of sweets for the children, so that they draw something. Over time, if there is no internal stimuli, it stops working.
Alternative this "carrot" - the "internal" motivation. That is encouraging, which is directly related to the job in progress. That is, your goal is to make the process itself to achieve the goal pleasant and helpful. It should not be some kind of ghostly reward at the end of the path, and the small joy in the process.
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Mistake number five - Punishment (whip). Punishment in general and self-flagellation - a very common version of motivation, especially in alternation with the carrot. Overcame yet another step on the way to the goal - well done, get a carrot, sign. It did not work - you will be punished. They fear of punishment, so the work and try next time not to make mistakes. But it is good to work for a long time does not work because of fear of punishment. In the end, this leads to insults (if punishing the parent) and quiet hatred as a person and to the work itself. This is because very often the punishment, as well as encouraging, are "external" in relation to a specific goal.
Alternative: First, consider the positive effects of behavior that you want to motivate. Then consider the negative consequences of behavior that you currently have. Do it in this order - first positive, then negative. For some reason our mind is more susceptible to the adverse effects, which were preceded by positive than the other way around, or just to the negative.
To sum up, all these motivational moments of work, but only if you start to think a head and connect them directly to the process, and do not use as axioms.