Why you should not compare yourself with someone other than himself

You may cease to see in the mirror someone's silhouette, which looms and obscures your eyes in a constant comparison? Peer closely at his reflection. At 99% sure that comparing myself with them, you will find a lot of changes for the better, which can rightly be proud of, without all this career-glare material and high-sounding words.

We live in a culture of comparison

"The neighbors dog and the car, and do not even have a dog with me. I bought a car, but it is not sufficiently steep compared with the car of my colleagues. I bought quite a cool car, but I do not have money for fancy stereo. I shall soon be 30, but my mom would have wanted me to earn three times more than the son of her friends, because after uncomfortable as what people will say about you - dolt. "

Familiar? Well, at least in part.

We constantly strive to compare the quality of your life with someone else

Your wardrobe women compare with friends and rivals. Their machines compared with men "Cars, which recently bought the Head." Startups compare your project with competitors. A journalist compares his provincial edition of a newspaper known to the whole oligarch country. Even babies cry because they have not bought the same toy, which already have with a neighbor Vova, or doll like a neighbor Masha.

Children, by the way, the comparison is excusable: they learn about the world through a comparison with him. But what happened to you that you can not stop playing in the comparison and competition with someone else, even when long out of childhood ?!

Look closely in the mirror. Remember who you were and what you were able to 10 years ago. 5 years ago. Just a year ago. What has changed you for the worse? And for the better? However, the good was more than a gray and heavy days?

Why compare yourself to someone else, if you live its own, rather than someone's life.

You do not know exactly whether the grass is greener on the other side (and at what price is given this apparent comparative success). But you can accurately assess what could change in yourself. No matter what it is: giving up smoking, the ability to embroider, a successful attempt to run a marathon or just the ability to to fulfill the promises in timeWhereas a couple of years ago, you would not have done this. You grew up (in the sense, not by age but by skills on the strength of will, of discipline, of the ability to set goals and achieve them).

Praise yourself for this growth. Do not forget to present yourself to compare with the past. Think about the fact that you still do not like would like for themselves. Proceed in this way, to change what is happening in their favor.

Be grateful to yourself for what you have changed

Be thankful it a negative experience not less than positive. He has this experience taught you that you yourself - and the source of their victories and their defeats.

That compares himself with someone else who is more successful, healthier, richer, bolder and more cynical you? Feelings of frustration, depression, irritation or indulgent complacency, they say, but I have something better than they are, these nasty little people - you are sure that this is what is lacking in your feelings life?! No stress, no negativity, no self-praise does not make you better and does not contribute to the achievement of your big or a small target.

Comparing himself with the same, but 2-3-4-5-10-year-old prescription, you will see that much of you has changed for the better. What do you get rid of the illusion and learn to set realistic goals. That you are not naive and enthusiastic, and just ready to certain actions and words. What do you even have done something. And your pair of small victories are much steeper for yourself than a huge success, which could be, if you were the same as someone with whom you We used to compare myself.

Compare yourself with them, you will find a lot of changes for the better, which can rightly be proud of.

The source of inspiration and motivation through comparison and your own spiritual, physical, material, moral and emotional growth lies in you. Neither religion, nor money, nor politics, neither the authorities nor the rank of post-badges on his lapel issued someone else in your hands, will not make you a better, cleaner and closer to that man by whom you would like be. It can only make you do.