The easiest way to happiness - less dream of the future and a greater appreciation now
Motivation / / December 19, 2019
This is Jack:
And it is today:
Jack and today together.
They are on good terms, and Jack reasonably happy, but for a while he knows that today - it is not only possible. Of course, they happen together with today is good, but too often, Jack feels that he is today sometimes resembles any other day - it's not the way he imagined his life.
Now that he knows that their relationship is temporary, Jack, they are not particularly invested, it consumes energy thinking about anyone else something about tomorrow. Tomorrow - is a day on which he would like to have a long-term relationship. It brings satisfaction, it is a dynamic, exciting and full of meaning. Jack knows that in time will find this today, where he met his love, build a career and live in the city of their dreams. He is now only tomorrow:
Once that time comes, but Jack already have another plan. Next week, it will improve, he will break with her today as soon as possible and begin a relationship with today-after-Boost. Of course, the new today is not too dignified a guy like Jack, but it's more fun and exciting than its current greyish.
On the morning after the rise of Jack wakes up a completely different person, he has a good mood. He already loves New Today:
That evening, he goes to a restaurant that until recently could not afford, and the next day to buy a new set of golf clubs.
Two weeks later, Jack returned to the trendy restaurant, but something is not so. Food is as great, but somehow it did not admire.
A month later, he plays golf for the fourth time with new clubs, but it is more has no effect on his mood - a regular game, nothing special.
And one day, everything around it becomes exactly the same as before the increase.
Jack confused. He threw his former Today, why he feels that he never left? It was assumed that this part of his life behind forever.
It is sad, but Jack does not pay attention to it. Increase in any case, it was nonsense, and a real future - ahead, and that he is happy in half, not so important.
A few years later, Jack issued a fruitful month. Firstly, after a few years of solitude, he meets an amazing girl, and between them there is a connection immediately. It is exactly what he imagined it, and after a couple of visits they become a couple. At the same time of Jack the business of evaluating restaurants, which started a year ago, is written in a major newspaper, and then suddenly goes up. He knew that the idea of this business was excellent, and now everything is confirmed. Now it is a reality for Jack.
His new today - it is today-Business Gaining a turn-and-have-I-Do-girl - is, he dreamed of the past few years.
Jack always knew that this life at some point will come, because he was the guy. His everyday life will never be gray.
But then something happens. Despite the fact that things are going well with her friend and business is growing, in a few months, Jack notices that the new today is not so much his impressive, and life is not so rich. He is busy as never before. He is infinite in the work and, though pleased with his new Today, the euphoria of life experiences.
A year later, Jack wealthier financially, his life is filled with more meaning than ever before, but it is quite accustomed to the course of things. He is a witness to what other career grew stronger than his own, and he wants to know what it is. And another friend, it seems a bit more satisfied with his girlfriend than his Jack. He thinks it's cool.
And one day, Jack wakes up in such a situation:
He can not believe it. What the hell is it doing here?
He thinks an injunction on today, which does not leave him alone, but then decides to let him go. In the end, it's not going to dedicate his life to it today-Business Gaining a turn-and-have-I-Do-girl. Today, the real, for which he holds - is today-I-Sell-business-and I'm getting married, one in which it will be really happy.
Battle Jack not an exceptional case. This is what happens to each of us in different ways. In his wonderful speech at the TED Harvard University professor Dan Gilbert (Dan Gilbert) describes what he calls the indirect influence of prejudices - a habit to overestimate the influence of future events on the enjoyment. Humans have the ability to mentally simulate future situations to anticipate the thrill of it. But the simulator does not always work well. He can make you believe that the expected results more different from reality.
Gilbert says that in reality, and the victory in the laboratory, or the failure of the election, meeting, or the loss of a romantic partner, getting a new positions or denial of promotions, successful or unsuccessful exams for admission to college affect less duration and intensity than people expect. This applies even to the tragic events. According to Gilbert, a recent study shows how great life traumas affect people. It assumes that the event that took place about three months ago (with a few exceptions), has no effect on happiness. Jack is clearly the victim of indirect influence of prejudice.
Jack's difficulties are related to the theory of pixels - a phrase coined by Tim Urban during his popular performances of "Home Alone in the mirror."
Jack looks at his life as a bright picture with an epic story and suggests that the key to happiness is hidden in roughly traced the details of the image.
But this is a mistake, because Jack does not live in the smears picture, he is always in one of its pixel - in a single day.
While the outside observer thousand Today Jack seem complete picture, Jack spends every moment of your reality in some unremarkable pixel today. Jack error - take everyday routine as something unimportant and focus on the big picture when the routine is his reality.
He suggests that once today will be as bright and saturated, as the whole picture, because it underestimates the ordinariness and simplicity of a pixel. He believes that the defective relationship with monotonous Today time, but in reality they are the inevitable and eternal. He must accept them and accept to be happy.
Jack truly can make happy the way he spends his weekdays. This is confirmed by a number of science-based ideas, including spending time with nice people, get enough sleep, exercise, do something that turns out well, and something good for others.
But, perhaps, Jack in the first place is to learn to recognize and appreciate the present - one more scientifically proven path to happiness that Jack usually ignores. He spends too much time in thought about the wonderful future and carefully plans his. But rarely think about how obsessed he wanted so many things that I have.