How To Enjoy problems without being a masochist

It was dank evening in March. All around was gray and gloomy, cold and damp. Inside of me there was no better: I was alone in a strange metropolis, without a job, housing, life prospects and absolutely no money. So to get to a friend who agreed to take me, I had to walk ...

In a familiar atmosphere in the house was no less oppressive. The only plus: it was warm and dry. I sat on the couch, legs crossed, and thought about how I'm a loser. In the meantime, my friend complained about her life. And, apparently, this would lead me to even more depression, but in reality has initiated a chain of thought, the conclusion of which abruptly changed my life.

It all started with bewilderment: "How so? - I thought. - He has a home, a job prospects, and he sits and whines?! "The next thing I understand is that no different from him. The problem was not that we have, and what happens in life, but in our attitude to it all.

Within 5 minutes I was comforted and encouraged his friend, experiencing quite different emotions and feelings. And even after 10 minutes the phone rang, and I found out that I have a job and housing.

I can not say that since the day I started to get fun and excitement of problems. Illumination does not lead to a change in thinking, but it leads to a change in the direction of its development. And this is not a quick process.

Since then, it took more than 12 years, and life only confirmed a sudden insight. I went from "you should never be discouraged, because this is no reason" to "problems - it's cool !!!". With the first you can find on Layfhakera pages under the heading "No excuses." The second - in this article. Start over.

The first step and most importantly - the humility

There is a prayer: "God, give me strength to change what I can change in, let the humility to accept the things I can not change, and the wisdom to distinguish one from another." In this case, you have not a lot of wisdom to realize that the problem will always be.

There are problems even in the amoeba, let alone speak of man. So we have a choice: to fight in vain for a carefree life, or accept the fact that there will come a time when the problems will disappear forever.

But it does not mean to accept surrender. Humility is a victory. You can whine and moan in the cloudy weather to spoil the mood yourself and others more. And you can accept the fact that not disperse the clouds in your power, and come up with some interesting a fun activity for yourself, family and friends.

We need to learn humility. This greatly facilitates the life and makes it much lighter and happier. Of course, as already stated above, there are problems that can and should be addressed. More on that below. But the fact that problems will occur periodically throughout life, you just need to accept. This is the beginning of a change in attitude to the problems.

Remember the past, look to the future, live in the present

I think each of us in life have been such a problem that seemed to have no solution. But here we are still alive, breathe, smile and even get pleasure from life. It does not matter, that problem was solved or destroyed our lives, but it was adjusted and tuned.

Remember this the next time something like this happen again. Perhaps the problem will be more serious than the previous problem-destroyer, but just because you have become stronger. And smarter, unless, of course, the current problem is not the result of the same mistakes. But in any case, the past can tell us that everything is not so bad for our future, as it seems at present.

Manage your emotions and thoughts

Most people think that if the thoughts we still can manage the emotions and feelings of our control. But this is not the case. Of course, we have to admit that the thoughts sometimes difficult to manage, and the emotions and feelings even more difficult, but still possible.

I am writing this as a person who because of his amorousness in the past caused a lot of pain to themselves and others, but once decided to not allow yourself to fall in love, "right and left". People who know me, believe the change in me one of the wonders of the world.

Therefore, each of us must understand and agree that emotions and feelings - is our personal choice. Understand and agree to take responsibility for that choice. You will feel discouraged and resolve to win - it depends only on you.

Control words and facial expressions

Of course, it all starts with thoughts and feelings, but it is also true that our words and facial expressions affect the thoughts, emotions and feelings. So do not allow yourself to whine and complain. Remember that negative feelings take a lot more energy than positive.

Find at least five reasons to be thankful for and write them down, and even better share them to others. Smile. Smile sincerely. Ironically, and this, too, can learn.

For starters, you can think about something pleasant and light, which in itself makes you smile. For example, I think of my wife, parents, brothers or close friends. Remember the "state of Smiles", explore and savor. Over time, you will be able to choose this state as choose a suit day.

find favor

I strongly believe that in every problem there is something useful for us. Due to the problems we can become stronger, more experienced, wiser and more successful. Even unresolved problem can make us better and learn a lot.

Bodo Schaefer in his book "laws winners"Tells the story of a fire at Edison's laboratory, where burned all his research and developments. He stood, hugged his wife and said something like: "Dear! Is not that wonderful! There burn all our mistakes and failures! We have such a great chance to start from scratch! ".

Give the problem a different name

With each word, we are not only visual associations, but also emotional. And hardly the word "problem" associated positive emotions.

Therefore, I propose to call the problem by another word, and on the basis of the previous Board, can be referred to their problems assignments or tasks that you need to solve. If you are a fan of RPG, you can call the problem quests.

In any case, the word must be approached within the meaning of, but carry a positive emotional coloring. Mathematician becomes smarter by solving increasingly complex tasks, the athlete becomes stronger after each workout, the character - "pump" after each quest. Find what you like and take out a new name for your problems.

Enjoy the vigorous activity

We all love to lie on the couch, but I think every reader Layfhakera knows real pleasure and satisfaction a person gets only vigorous activity.

Remember the last time you get something, you have finally realized that what for a long time could not understand, or something to overcome themselves. What emotions filled you? What is the drive and inspiration!

Think also about the fact that, like a holiday in the UK - it's a lot of problems. The head is spinning on how much you need to prepare, to buy and place. Hike with friends, parachute jump ...

The problem - it is the same action. Just do not we have chosen, and life slipped us. But we can get from overcoming them no less pleasure.

Rejoice new bugs

Is it possible to learn to ride a bike in the office, reading books about how to ride a bike? And you can learn it, never fell? Most of our skills we have gained through mistakes and failures. This is a natural process. Lost not one who fell and who decided not to get up.

But again note the subtitle. This is the essence. If the problem persists for more than two times, it's a wake-up call. Set up an errors folder in which you will make all your mistakes, and periodically review it, not to be repeated. Or, if you keeps a diary and use the electronic version, the tag set up an "error", like I did in the annex Day One.

On the other hand, we can not even say often, made a mistake or not, because they do not know what would we choose another option. Perhaps it would be even worse. And more often than we do never know. So do not be afraid of mistakes, and they rejoice as though not very pleasant, but very good teacher.

Find the right support

Sometimes it is very hard, and we need the support of family or friends. Just avoid those who will be to blame for your problems the state, a neighbor, Chief... Avoid those who will complain with you and you feel sorry for the unfortunate.

Find those who will try to encourage, inspire and encourage you to take decisive action.

Do not look for problems

However great may be your pleasure from the problems, do not look for them. In life there are many things that brings more joy and satisfaction. Spend your time on family and friends, self-education, rest and growth. Read Layfhaker and practice smart tips for preventing problems. And when they come, remember that what have learned from this article, and do not forget, how to solve all the problems.