10 reasons why you do not get

All we ever experienced failure. The fact there may be many reasons, but if we speak frankly, in most cases, they all boil down to one thing: when Life offers us some opportunities, we want to avoid pressure and difficulties that are associated with the promotion forward. It is much easier just to accept defeat: who knows what awaits you on the way to the dream?

And now the 10 leading causes of failures, which are a whole strategy for avoiding work on oneself. Following this strategy, we will certainly come to failure. Read it and weep.

1. You're afraid to stand out

Any society is watching his every member, that he did not show excessive self-confidence.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, American essayist, poet and philosopher

People do not like when others change or do something that makes them feel uncomfortable. When you challenge yourself on the way to his ideal, associates perceive it as a threat to their internal balance. other success forces them to think about their own failures and needlessly wasted potential. This is quite unpleasant, so most people will react to your actions aggression.

It is a fact of life. If you want to achieve something extraordinary, something that will provide you the background of all the rest, you have to understand that you are different, and learn to live with it.

People will call you strange, crazy, selfish, arrogant, irresponsible, nasty, stupid, rude, shallow, insecure, fat and ugly. You will attempt to "return to reality", made to behave like a "normal" person. Perhaps the closest you will be the most severe. If you are not confident enough in their ideas and desires, then you will not go far.

2. You do not have enough perseverance

In 2009, Karl Marlantes finally published the novel "Matterhorn", based on his own memories of the war in Vietnam. The book became a bestseller. New York Times called it "one of the deepest and most impressive works of war." According to the author of "Fall" Black Hawk Down, "" Mark Bowden, "Matterhorn" - this is a great book about the Vietnam War.

As Marlantes came to this success? As many as 35 years, he saw to it that his book published. More than half of his life. He rewrote the manuscript six times. In the first two decades after writing the book publishers rejected the novel, hardly read it.

Such stories are many. Remember Walt DisneyWho was considered mediocre. Twenty years he urged Pamela Travers agree on an adaptation of her book.

Most of us gives up too quickly on the way to his goal. But almost every success story - it is also a story of perseverance and struggle. Nothing really worthwhile is not given easily.

3. You do not have enough modesty

Just do not confuse humility with shyness. Many people, nearly achieving something, start to consider themselves experts in the business. Humility also means understanding that you know not all.

Really great people know that they know nothing.

I wonder what to talk about their success like most people, whose achievements are not something supernatural. They often become coaches and start to learn everything and everyone how to achieve good results in the business.

In contrast, people who have made themselves, have made a real breakthrough in your industry, usually have little to say about how they managed to do it. They either downplay their achievements, or just do not mention them. Instead, these people recognize that to make mistakes and openly talk about their weaknesses and about what they have yet to learn.

4. You can not build links and to build a strong relationship

In today's world is crucial people skills. Even held some training on development networking. In some industries to establish relations without progress extremely difficult art. In addition, it is necessary simply to be able to ask for help people. However, sometimes our fear, self-doubt or, conversely, arrogance hinder our fellowship with other people and forced to miss valuable opportunities that could change our lives.

66% hire employees know someone from the company, which will work. But even outside of business communication desire for isolation can negate all your efforts. In addition, it often leads to depression. Ability to build strong relationship is also closely related to the ability to meet the right people and productively interact with them.

5. You will likely argue, than follow someone else's advice

The desire to prove that you are right, instead of self-improvement - is a guaranteed way to fail. To reach success, You need to follow a cycle, which is necessarily present feedback.

Try to do something → get feedback on the results of → extract from it useful information → try something new.

People who would rather die than reconsider their position, often destroy this chain and do not take feedback. Therefore, they will never change.

This does not mean that we must listen to all the advice that we give. The idea is to take into account the information that comes to us as feedback, regardless of whether we consider it useful or not. It is not necessary to strive in that whatever was to defend its position, only to look as if you are all the time was right.

People who suffer from this problem, usually very smart and extremely insecure. This combination of poor. The smarter people are, the longer it will rationalize their failures and find excuses. He uses all his intelligence to building a protective mechanism for their fragile egos.

6. You are too many distractions

Check the news feed "VKontakte», Facebook, climb into the mailbox, Facebook again and again "VKontakte", a cool comic book, share it on Facebook, check your mail again, respond to the message "VKontakte" Wow, kartinochki with seals, and share them with repeat itself beginning.

You know yourself? It is not something, however it is worth spending your time?

7. You do not take responsibility for what happens to you

Constantly find excuses for themselves? So you will not move forward. To solve the problem, you need to take your life under control. But you can not take the life under control, if not take over a responsibility for her. Therefore, if you do not take responsibility, it is waiting for you to fail.

Yes, it is very tempting to throw the blame for what is going on outside factors, insist that you can not do anything that you are not guilty, he has come. But maybe it is worth to give yourself an imaginary slap in the face and a sober assessment of its contribution to the current situation? The sooner you do, the sooner you can fix it.

8. You do not believe that success is possible

To win, you have to believe in the possibility of victory. It does not involve self-persuasion, and there is nothing supernatural. Your subconscious ideas about your abilities affect actual performance.

For example, studySelf-Deception and Its Relationship to Success in Competition. found that athletes have, though not corresponding to reality, but a positive view of their abilities, showed better results than the athletes with more realistic or pessimistic attitude.

In addition, people who overestimate their abilities, is much easier to lift. It is easier to act. And when you learn from your mistakes, eventually you will come to success. Therefore, sometimes a bit of illusion can serve you good.

9. You are afraid to be indifferent

Many people pick up the virus of indifference. Their personal not really inspiring. Such people are hesitant to fully commit themselves to any cause, project or goal. Many of them drop out very quickly started. Others simply lose interest. And many do not have the strength to even begin.

Chronic indifference - is an insidious defense mechanism. It undermines the motivation and inspiration needed to get rid of it. So a person gets into a vicious circle.

On an unconscious level, many people are afraid of all the forces to take on some business, because they understand that they can suffer failure. This failure can cause them a stream of thoughts to which their mind is not prepared: on self-worth issues, the competence, the question of whether you are worthy of love, and so on.

Usually people that use this mechanism to get rid of him only when their new life happens emotionally stressful situation that they are able to cope.

10. Deep down, you think do not deserve what you want

Moving on the rise, we come to the main reason for the failure, which is often hidden behind the above. It is the belief that you are unworthy that would like to receive.

Many of us have suppressed their most unpleasant feelings and ideas about themselves, but that they have not disappeared. These ideas evolved in different ways over someone bullied at school, someone or the teacher parents constantly saying that he did not achieve in life, someone for their ability to not like peers. All this puts an imprint, which is difficult to get rid of. As a result, the idea of ​​achieving high results often causes us discomfort.

If we feel that something is not rightfully ours, we always find a way to get rid of it.

Advantages and disadvantages of a high position make one feel like royalty, and others - impostors. Sometimes, when we get closer to success, in us begins to tell the familiar inner voice, feeding our fears and self-doubt until we destroy everything that reached. It may be a relationship with the best of the people we met, dream job, to which we are not We dare to start, a unique opportunity to do creative work, which we exchanged for a more practical lessons.

Whatever it was, the hidden fears come to the surface and find a way to destroy something that you're so eager. More precisely, it forces you to destroy it.

Here it is, the harshest truth lying behind our failures. The thing only you. More in this equation there is none.

And yet you deny it, your fear will not go away. It will be an invisible barrier that separates you from happiness. You will constantly fight about it, but will not be able to break. There is a way, but you have to be prepared for pain and suffering. Otherwise you will not see in his eyes that prevent you to achieve the goals. You will again and again to face the same problems. Over and over again, until you are ready to acknowledge that they exist.