7 tips for men who have lost faith in their own strength
Books / / December 19, 2019
The publishing house "Alpina Publisher" book "Man in isolation. Games, movies and loss of identity, "Philip Zimbardo and Nikita Colombo. It sets out a rather non-standard view of modern men.
Against the backdrop of the craze feminism is the stronger sex, according to the authors, it is increasingly becoming a victim of sexism.
The image of the modern man
How do you see the man? According to traditional expectations of society, it is the strong man, the breadwinner, the invader, male. But in the court of XXI century, living conditions have changed, and a real man can not match this idealized image.
Therefore, he tries to escape from everyday life fills his time pornography, computer games and food. losing self-confidence, Afraid of women, and closed out their problems.
Zimbardo and Colombe create another image of a man, which is the complete opposite of traditional ideal. Of course, the portrait leaves unsightly.
Not every man has all these problems. But the book serves as a reminder of the negative trends that we can observe more and more often in modern life.
How to cease to run from real life
The book "A man in isolation. Games, movies and loss of identity "is divided into three major parts: the analysis of the negative trends in the society, the search for their causes and specific outputs. The last part is the most interesting, because it can detect atypical recommendations on how to come to a balance in relations between men and women.
The authors see the solution in changing the education system (for example, they propose to increase the number of male teachers), diet, training the boys in childhood.
But all this is only possible in the long term. Therefore, we chose tips by which any man alone can change your life. After all, when it comes to change, it all depends on us.
1. Turn off the porn
Nowadays it becomes available visual stimulants, categorized and serving men fantasies. But porn does not saturate, but takes away the ability to feel pleasure.
After the rejection of pornography gradually your dopamine receptors come back to normal, sensitive circuit is restored, and you can get rid of the addiction to instant fun.
It should be remembered that there is no quick fix or magic pill to get rid of dependence. Redirect sexual energy anywhere above the waist - in the heart and a cool head.
2. Go do something more useful
Today to be a gamer, you need not only to improve the skills, but also to be physically resilient person. To get closer to the top ranking in the game you need to play hours on end without sleep or rest breaks.
Depending on the game and the girls suffer, but they do not play as strong as boys: the ratio is 5:00 to 13 hours per week. Try at least part of the time you spend on the game, used to achieve in real life goals.
Depending on the games are the most susceptible people who are in disadvantaged conditions. If you play lonelinessTry to find a friend in the real world - most likely, the problem is not in the passion for games, but a lack of communication. So you are substituting a real friendship conversations with strangers players on the web.
Perhaps originally the game and created to inspire a person to build a better reality, but today they are just a substitute for it.
3. exercise
Another global challenge of the XXI century - obesity. This is partly due to the fact that young people less interested in physical activity, and more - the screens of their computers. The habit of a sedentary lifestyle goes along with them into adulthood.
Furthermore, that physical activity is good for health, there are several reasons to do sports:
- a man who has achieved physical fitness, seeking recognition of others and no longer feel the need to prove his manhood;
- individual sports produce psychological stability and responsibility;
- team sports teach flexibility and ability to work in a team;
- Sport develops the ability to achieve other goals in life.
Choose a load, which are interesting for you. You do not need to drag the iron in trenazhorke. You can if you want to go dancing.
An important part of the sport - it's social interaction. Therefore, if you are happy with your body and soul to the physical education does not lie, to build social ties in other areas: Loans singing, painting, playing a musical instrument.
May exercise and do not make you a professional athlete, but it's easier to be given to any thing that you think is important.
4. Blanketed bed: a small lead to more wins
Make the bed - it would seem a trifle, but because any little thing can have significant consequences. If you start the day with a small victory over his lazinessThen you will have the strength to do something more.
A lot of small things that you do on a regular basis, form good habits that guide your life in a positive manner. Therefore gather your thoughts and make a plan for yourself, as you will achieve their life goals.
If you do not succeed in small things, it will be defeated in the great work.
5. Open a source of inner strength
In his book "The Artist's Way," an American writer and filmmaker Julia Cameron advises everyone to exercise "morning pages": write three pages about everything that comes to your mind. Exercise will help you better understand yourself and get rid of the habit of judging yourself for each action.
To keep a diary useful for various reasons: you give out negative experiences are good in their feelings, learn to build short- and long-term plans. But above all, it is training for honesty with oneself.
6. Get a female friend
The important point for the shy and timid men who do not know how to communicate with women.
Make friends with at least one woman. Tie is a friendly relationship and immediately let them know that no matter what you do not expect more. A friend will help you build a relationship with the opposite sex, not seen in women creatures from Venus, as interlocutors with an interesting perspective on the world.
7. Find a mentor
The best advice you get from men older than you, who was able to cope with similar problems. It will help you deal with all the emotions, so you can safely move on and choose something for everyone.
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