What to do if your child is watching porn

To protect children and teenagers from online porn is almost impossible. Block taboo subjects on the Internet trying to entire countries, but they have it not work. What can we say about the individual parents.

Yes and marginalized sexual education topics in Russia leads to the fact that the only source of information about sex for teenagers is their own experience, stories of friends and the Internet. It turns out that the question of what your child is somehow sees porn - Resolved. But open another: how do you respond.

How to behave if you find out that your child watches porn

1. Keep calm

The child always reads your mood. "The biggest mistake - this is a very emotional, inadequate response to the incident - He speaks psychologist and seksoterapevt Marina Tikhonova. - In no case do not need to blame the child, shame him. If a parent will not react violently, surprising, goggle, grabbing the child by the hand and beat on him, the child such episodes are likely to not even remember, because they fit into the natural stages of development sexuality. "

The very sight of a parent in horror could have a serious impact: "The fact that a parent is shocked, is a very powerful non-verbal promise to a child that sexuality - it is bad, sinful and dirty. "

Or protest the ban parents can lead to a child problems with sex already in adulthood, if the subject remains taboo for him.

Richard Toft, a child psychologist from California, interview Huffington Post points out that the reaction of the parent in this situation has a great impact, "ranting, besnuyas and threatening punishment, you can make this experience truly traumatic."

2. Talk and ask

"It is important to find out what happens to the child why he became interested in this video, the conditions under which it is happened, whether it was an isolated incident or is it happening on a regular basis ", - says Marina Tikhonov. As a rule, it is passing, cognitive interest. To focus and dwell on this subject is not necessary.

3. Analyze the responses of the child

Make sure that the idea of ​​view porn - his own, and really is part of a natural interest in sex. If something from the answers you wary, for example, there is reason to believe that the watch video suggest someone adult, child fixated on porn in general or any specific sexual topics, there is an occasion guard.

Through porn teen may try to cope with any challenge. "Unfortunately, the child is not always ready to talk about the trouble that happened to him, because he was ashamed to talk about it, or he believes that in this his fault - Marina Tikhonova said. - If you talk about watching the video takes place in a very personal atmosphere, maybe the child will talk about some things, which need to go to a specialist. "

4. Understand yourself

"If a parent, faced with similar situations, feelings of helplessness, resentment or disgust, then first of all it is important to ask about their own sexuality"- says Marina Tikhonova.

It supports Daniel Bruton, a pediatrician from Minnesota, 13 years headed the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (US). In an interview with Huffington Post, he points out that the behavior of children to be separated from one's own attitude to porn, "you might want, and to go to a psychologist to figure out how to be in this situation, but it does not mean you have to look for psychological help for your child. "

5. Decide whether to restrict access to porn

Think about whether or not to tell their children online porn all about the world. For example, you can explain that there is a video, which are suitable only for people with a great sexual experience, so now they are best avoided.

By setting the parental controls on access to the Internet, it is necessary to tell what you're blocking and why.

If you are resigned to the fact that all children will still look for porn, and teach them to do it correctly and Responsibility: to erase the browser history, avoid viruses and never send another their naked Photo and video.

In general, the question of what children should be taught, and this, is much more acute than it might seem. Teenagers see how easily a person can make, if it is to sell their nude photos and video on the Internet, and sometimes try to do it yourself. But buying such content are adults.

Stories of parents who know that their children are watching porn

The newspaper The New York Times I talked with families who already faced this problem and could solve it.

Chaz, a father of two children from a suburb of Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA

"I understand that a 12-year-old son, it's time to talk, when he received the invoice for the purchase of the application," 1001 breast ". Not focusing on buying, learned, was interested in whether his son or his friends of this kind of content. He said that being curious - this is normal. Added that the already installed on the browser filter that hides the crudest materials. With his son agreed that if he needs this kind of photos, it can send a link to a particular site, and I'll add it to the list of permitted ".

Patty Thompson, a mother of five children from the city of Reading, Massachusetts, USA

"The horror of the number and variety of online porn want to protect their children, who were between 7 and 15 years, from the materials at all. Hours studying manuals and instructions to properly install parental control. At Christmas all children gave iPod Touch. It turned out that it is possible to go online. I had to take away, not yet figured out how to disable your Internet connection. Looking for answers, please call Apple and only months later I found a solution - application MobicipWhich solves this problem. "

Carlos, the father of the city of Pasadena, California, USA

"I understand that the 14-year-old son, it's time to talk about porn when he happened to see the history of queries on your smartphone. Teenager sought nude photos of the same age that both logical and problematic because, among other things, would violate laws against child pornography. I did not respond immediately, wait for a quiet moment in a conversation marked that interested in sex - normally, but does not reflect porn the real situation: How people make love and build relationships. I added that the son can always ask me about everything that worries him. Questions poured in immediately, the conversation was. "

Richard Esplin, a Mormon and the father of four children from Lindon, Utah, USA

"Agreement with the kids, who were between 2 and 8 years old, that they come to YouTube only under my supervision. What is porn, the children explained so - it's a video in which people pretend to be married. "

Dana, mother of three children from Massachusetts, United States

"Parental control is not established. Decided that in 9 years for a boy to be interested in the look of naked woman - okay. At 13 years old son asked why women like to be strangled. I'm not confused, and said that in reality, they certainly do not like it, but in the porn actors are shot and do it by agreement. The example has staged fights without rules, which are often looking son. The matter was closed. "

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The scope of human sexuality - a topic for teens and children is an important and particularly interesting. It raises many questions, the answers to which they will try to look for themselves. The task of parents - to try to do no harm and do not shoot them with this new and strange way.