Suitcase - Station - Europe, or How to give yourself a "soft landing" in another country

Moving abroad - is one of the most important decisions that we can make in life. Since it usually involves a lot of hope and joyful anticipation, but also a lot of anxiety, especially if the family has children. As everything goes in a new place? Will we be able to adapt quickly? How to reduce the stress of moving to a minimum? I myself ask questions like three years ago, when we were preparing to leave for Sweden, but unfortunately, I did not consult anyone.

In this article I want to share some tips that are received at the time, I could save a lot money, nerves, vitality and overall would have been more mentally prepared for what awaited me on the other side border.

Tip number 1. First, find the accommodation

It would be better if the first go and arranged husband in a new country. Ideal - to have a permanent job and remove permanent housing, otherwise your move abroad threatens to turn into an exciting adventure with an uncertain outcome. The fact that only constant work can provide you with the means to rent an apartment, and for housing in Europe takes the lion's share of the salary of one spouse.

If you have two children, you have to shoot at least three-room apartment - in the smaller you just do not let any one landlord, and such housing cost will be, if we talk about Sweden, about 1 000. The Russian version, when the whole family can huddle together in a studio apartment, is impossible in principle. Accommodation is quite difficult to find a permanent contract, but, believe me, to rush in search of new homes when the old contract at the end - this test is not for the faint of heart. And the children psychologically it will be easier if you do not have to change schools and kindergartens. Therefore it is better to spend a little more time, but to find the most affordable and permanent housing location and then move to another country with the children.

Tip number 2. Moms go to work

Moms, get ready for what you have to look for a job. The fact is that even indigenous Europeans can not afford the luxury of not having to work and sit for a few years at home with children. Yes, maternity leave is paid well, in Sweden - 80% of salary, as far as I know. But when it comes to an end, and it happens on the child reaches 12-14 months, all mothers go to work. Or, just give birth to another child to a decree passed smoothly to another.

The fact that in Europe on one salary husband normally can not survive if it is not a millionaire, but an ordinary wage-worker - it is a fact, and it should be taken into consideration. That's why here, go to kindergarten in Sweden, I was surprised to have to remember the Soviet times, watching as all children older than 1.5 years.

Moreover, the Swedish mother, raising a two-year child at home, in the circle of friends is a surprise and is subject to a specific moral pressure, "How do you two years ago, and you're not in the garden ?!" So, if you have a child over one and a half years, be prepared to give it in garden. The more that make it much easier than in Russia are applying to the administration of the city, pass examination by a single doctor - and you can start to visit the garden.

Another good news is that you can not work full time and have, for example, 25% or 50% of employment - it is much more convenient than going out at once for the full time.

Tip number 3. Learn the language before departure

Moms, learn the language! Learn it here, in Russia, and how intensively as possible. The method of "on-site shall understand" does not work perfectly.

Without the language, at least in English, you'll feel dumb and helpless creature. On the other hand, language skills immediately save you from a variety of difficulties, will help to adapt and to find your social circle.

Swedes turned out to be very sociable. Sometimes with them easier to find a common language, than with our own emigrants. By the way, my English was good enough, as in Sweden in English say everything.

If you are not able to learn the language before departure, please bring at least a guide to study your preferred language in the Russian edition. Most likely, you will be able to attend language courses for foreigners, but all the explanation you will receive, at best, in English. Therefore, the Russian textbook is much easier for you to process.

Tip number 4. Get a driver's license in Russia

Another very important point in Russia get a driver's license. Especially it concerns mothers, since they are about it, as a rule, do not think - and in vain. The opportunity to drive a car will greatly facilitate your life and expand opportunities in renting accommodation.

The fact is that in Europe, the city arranged a little differently than we have. In Russia, every city has certain limits and public transport provides communication within those limits. In Europe it's different.

In all directions from the cities and towns in three, five or more kilometers stretch "tentacles" of suburbs, where the Public transport can only walk a school bus collecting children in the morning and delivers them back after dinner. Rental housing in such a place can be much cheaper than in the city, so if you have a car, and it is better - two, to live in the 3-6 km from the city for your family will not be a problem. I must say that the car in Europe can be purchased for 300-400 euros, at least for the first time. But to get right - it is the whole story, though expensive.

Registration of a driver's license "from scratch" in Sweden could lead to you in the amount of from 3 to 6 thousand euro. With Russian same rights here you can ride a year, then they need to change to local. It will be cheaper than pass the full course from the beginning. Some stacked about 1 000 euros.

Tip number 5. Go full medical examination before departure

Health in Europe - is a separate conversation. Russian people here have a lot to get used to. If the Russian medicine has a roll in hyperdiagnosis when the doctor is inclined to see the disease where it is not present, and prescribe treatment immediately, then everything here is exactly the opposite. Whatever the problem, it is not to pay attention to until it becomes really serious. Beg a doctor's referral for analysis or an appointment with a specialist is very difficult. If he does not see the need for this, to persuade him senseless.

You also can not pass this inspection charge or go to the doctor paid, as is customary in Russia. So my advice to you surveyed the house before departure. Take a doctor's prescription, supply of drugs, children and adults, including antibiotics and herbal medicines. Antibiotics are sold only by prescription, but appointed very rare. Herbal medicines and pills in pharmacies simply do not - they are not considered drugs. And, if possible, arrange at home with some good doctor, with whom you could consult in the event necessary, because here, even if you will be referred to a specialist, you can wait for a call to him for a few months. And when all the same will be taken to the reception, doctor in most cases, you just go home, saying that you are all well. This is tested on their own experience more than once. However, if you already have a specific diagnosis, such as hepatitis in active form, which requires treatment, this treatment you will definitely be appointed.

Unusually also the fact that the concept of "to call a doctor on the house" is missing here. Therefore, if your child has a fever of forty and you need a doctor's advice, you'll have to take him to the receiving hospital emergency room, where the child does not examine the pediatrician and general practitioner on duty, who are likely to knock down commands temperature above 39 ° C and water child paracetamol water. When false croup, for example, a child may prescribe cold air.

"Open the window and bring it to the child in a blanket or taken her in a stroller on the street" - cute, smiling, He advised us to the doctor when I was brought to the reception of his three-year daughter, which was the night before the attack false croup. The fact that you are ready to shoot home with a nebulizer, local doctors do not seem to know, and patients about nebulizer and have not heard. And when I needed a saline solution for inhalation, I had three times run around in circles pharmacy, the receiving department of the hospital and the children's clinic to get this wondrous thing ...

However, I must add that, if you will bring to the child reception with asthma attacks, you will remove him straight in the hospital - and sent back home. Doctors are very, very comfortable with all of these phenomena. All this, of course, can lead to the horror of ordinary Russian mother, accustomed to our pediatrician prescribed for viral infections by five to six drugs at once. But, believe me, once you see that local children are alive and well and quite cope with illnesses without so many medications, you relax a bit and see what your kids are, too, so they can. However, if a child has a tendency to cereals or obstruction, nebulizer still bring along - handy.

Tip number 6. Tempers their children

This way, you will avoid many of the aforementioned problems with a European medicine and your child will have a chance to survive in the kindergarten. The fact that children are not completely Kuta, children in sub-zero temperatures to walk with unbuttoned collars jugular depression jackets and without scarves. Well, if in caps. And what caregivers do not particularly watch what the child took his hat from the cupboard. If caught thin cotton - is two o'clock to walk in it.

More in the garden can quietly put the children in a circle directly under the open windows for ventilation, and sing songs for 20 minutes. Just where it is considered from a draft, you can get sick. Therefore, probably, all the Swedes are hardened. And our children are gradually becoming in these conditions the same, but it is better to start the process in advance. A hardened kids - it's really great!

Tip number 7. Bring a Russian textbooks

If you are traveling you are not forever, and with the prospect of return, be sure to stock up on Russian textbooks. The curriculum in schools is much weaker than the Russian. Due to the absence of stress and load, students are calm, healthy and cheerful. Your child will certainly help to adapt even pay for Russian help teachers in the school, in Sweden, who comes to the child for at least two hours a week. In our school we paid even 7:00.

The atmosphere is very comfortable and supportive, homework virtually no through 5th grade. Estimates in Sweden do not put up 6 class. All for free, including food, textbooks and personal use iPads. The child goes to school with pleasure that Russian parents unusual. In general, the school adaptation problems, as a rule, does not arise. They can arise when returning back to Russia, so be sure to be engaged at least in the basic subjects of the Russian program - it will be useful in any case, even if you stay.

Tip number 8. Learn in advance how to deal with culture shock

I strongly advise pre-read books about culture shock, which it has steps and how to overcome. At least you'll understand what is happening to you and why in such a wonderful country you periodically covers the depression. Indeed, warned - is forearmed!

Tip number 9. Reconsider your attitude to the educational methods

For children there are not just good, but great. How, in general, and to adults, only better. But, unfortunately, sometimes it becomes a source of problems. There does exist the juvenile justice system, so be very prudent in dealing with children. If even in good families slap on the pope nor his parents in Russia, nor the child is not considered violent, it's different in Europe. Especially in the Scandinavian countries.

If a child complains or just let it slip that you slapped his or pulled by the ear, you really have to deal with the guardianship. Therefore, if you have a family practice, elements of education are not allowed abroad should already here be adjusted to another wave, so as not to be in a situation where the usual educational methods can not be used, and new ones have not yet are turned out.

No one returns from his travels as he was before.

As the last Council, I can say one thing: do not be afraid of difficulties! Changes - it is always a thrill, always overcome, but they are fraught with the greatest potential for our development, for understanding ourselves and the world around us. If you decide to do so, you will find a lot of discoveries and meetings, you will see life from a new and unknown to you until now hand. You have to survive the present adventure - as a child, when you meet every day something new and unfamiliar, and then embedded in this new picture of their world, and it becomes a part of yourself.

As the Chinese say, "no one returns from his travels as he was before." And it's really great - to go forward, to be surprised, to change again to find its integrity in this journey of a lifetime.