How to become a master of life talks

Some people have a talent for negotiations, for others it is difficult and scary. The ability to get from other people what you want, and it does not slide into a conflict - one of the most useful skills for professional growth and personal life. Here are some guidelines from an expert negotiation and contracting.

During the negotiations, many do not feel very comfortable: you have to defend his point view, ask for what you need, and try to find the best price for themselves, conditions or decision. It feels like a conflict, the conflict of interests, and many of us are afraid of fighting and try to avoid it at all costs.

"We have to learn to negotiate, it is not an innate skill - says Eldon Lewis-Fernandez, author of" Think like a diplomat. " - It's like any sport: you have to learn to play, to play well. "

Lewis-Fernandez has enough experience to say this. She '23 negotiated and concluded lucrative contracts for the US government. Now she is the CEO of Dynamic Vision International consulting company and teaches people to negotiate.

She believes that every person can very well negotiate both on duty and in his personal life. The main thing - to feel comfortable at the time of negotiations, it is the only correct attitude.

"In the beginning is always scary - says Lewis-Fernandez. - And there's no way to kill this fear, there is no such button, which will disable it and immediately make you an expert. Time will pass, and you step through it. The main thing - to train. "

Exercise can be in any field, for example, when buying property. Few expect to receive as much as originally requested, so you can work out, turning the negotiations into a fun game.

Well, if you're not going to buy a property, go to the market - it can also be a good idea to practice.

The negotiations can turn anything

For example, if you want to sell tea for 270 rubles and 260 rubles per tray, you can ask to give two things for 500 rubles. Multiple purchases increase your chance to buy at a bargain price.

Or, on the contrary, allow the seller to set a price, just before it warned that if he would call the lowest price, you buy. Most likely, he would call the price, for which you did not expect.

When you start to feel comfortable at the time of requests, time to move on to the next level. This can be anything ranging from a call to the courier in order to reduce the delivery price and ending talks about the multi-million dollar contracts. And remember:

Best deal - those in which both parties benefit, without winners and losers.

But no matter how comfortable you feel yourself either, at first you'll make a lot of mistakes. Here are five mistakes that should not be allowed during the negotiations:

1. be uncertain

Some people think that we should be bold or even arrogant, to agree on something, others think that we need a lot of experience. In fact, if you prepare in advance and persevere, the chances of successful negotiations would greatly increase.

"Before you begin negotiations, make sure you know what you want to your opponent, which he may have some objections and motivation will help convince him - advises Lewis-Fernandez. - In addition, the need to feel human in time and to mitigate the opposition is too strong. "

2. I assume that something is not negotiable

When you think of as a negotiator, you realize that you can discuss everything. Decide for yourself, that any rule can change negotiations in order to benefit, and in front of you will open great opportunities.

Any rule can be changed, if you offer an ethical decision that will benefit all participants in the negotiations.

3. Do not build a relationship before negotiations

One of the biggest mistakes made by beginners - refuse to talk to the opponent before the start of negotiations, to find out what kind of person he is.

Through a simple conversation can learn a lot of important information about your opponent's life, about his motivation and goals. You'll be surprised how useful the information will be obtained from a simple conversation.

4. Asked nothing

It sounds too simple, but it's true:

The key to successful negotiation - ask for what you want.

You can stop the fear of failure or fear of appearing greedy. Just remember: the refusal will, but do not be afraid of him.

Failure is not the specific case of your personality; it means that you have not provided convincing arguments why you should get what you want. Was rejected your proposal, not you.

If you hear "no", it means that your opponent does not have enough information. To make it easier, you should know:

People on average three times say "no" before will say "yes."

The true path to pump in the negotiations - is to be refused and continue to ask.

5. Too much talk

Too much chatter - a sure way to screw up the negotiations. Never underestimate the value of silence. During that as you discuss the matter, just stop talking, and feel comfortable during this awkward silence. So your argument is much more likely to succeed, and you - on favorable terms.