We often complain about their loved ones, because they are doing a lot wrong, do wrong. But reproaches and asking them not to change human attitudes and impregnated with discontent. If we look from the side, it appears that we are often the same sin, what blame others. The results are disappointing, so what to do?
Get rid of the constant petty scandals and dissatisfaction - means to remove much of the stress, fatigue and depressive moods that they evoke. But this is not always possible to achieve insults or reproaches. All that they can cause - is a response discontent or protest, that, in fact, worse.
The best way out of this situation - to change yourself.
Aikido everyday
The martial art of aikido, as most oriental techniques - is not just a way to defeat the enemy, but a whole philosophy of life. The essence (one of the many features) is that one should not attack or defend passively. Instead, he changes himself at the enemy adapts to it and wins.
If you move it into our daily lives, it turns out that you can easily avoid the scandals and discontentBy modifying themselves.
There is a theory that people first notice to the other and provoked precisely those qualities that he has. If you ever met one who is very similar to you, you probably have noticed.
The trick is not to mindlessly vybeshivaet on others, but first consider if you do not suffer the same?
monitoring itself
Very often people are happy others are called selfish and are themselves driven by his line, not caring about the opinions and desires of others. It looks funny when the two call each other egoists.
More clearly: man is indignant that he would not listen, and the other people at the time the replica is in the clouds; People can not stand when he lied, and at the same time he periodically disingenuous and not telling. I think we can not go on, everyone in life there exists a lot of such examples.
And the most pleasant thing is that if you find yourself at fault and try to change it, your loved one will change too.
Why is this happening?
There is no single answer to this question, but there are two theories:
1. People - terrible conformists
This means that they constantly learn from other behaviors, especially conversation and habits. As a child, it is more developed, because it is necessary to learn the social rules in adulthood is less, but still there.
Experiment famous psychologist Solomon Asch conducted by more in 1950, showed how much people are exposed to conformism.
In a simple test with the obvious answer 50% of the participants responded incorrectly to most questions only because the other participants (who were briefed in advance) points to the wrong answers. 25% of all answered correctly to all questions, and all because of what others have done the same.
It is often said that people who live together for a long time, become like. It is indeed the case, because they learn from each other some habits, characteristics, traits, as a rule, unconsciously, because no one thinks, "Oh, what a cool way of talking, I will do the same", it turns itself.
So, if you fix a certain negative aspect that annoys you in close, they subconsciously copied it, too, will change for the better.
2. Consciousness creates the world
It is no secret that different people the world is different, and how do you see the reality, so it is. You pass through itself the objective reality and the output is what you think is real. Of course, so does everyone.
So, if you start to care about others and do not think about what they are all egoists, picture the world changes a little and people automatically start to think about how you feel and what you necessary. If you really learned to listen to someone, people start to listen to you rather than to wait for their turn talk.
Everything that occurs to you in life - it's just a reflection of you, and the more you are like his own ideal, the greater will notice in their environment people who resemble him, too.
That's all, if you have ideas on this subject, please share in the comments.
see also🤝👩🏼🤝🧑🏻
- 16 signs of a truly intimate relationship
- 8 secrets of communicating with those who annoys you
- Why did we choose the wrong people and build a bad relationship