How to win the interlocutor: 12 rules of successful conversation

Negotiating skills will come in handy not only for those who hold leadership positions. Properly constructed conversation can help in various areas. But the main thing in this art - not the words that you say, but how you behave. In this article, 12 tips on how to hold a conversation, to immediately arrange for a companion.

Step 1. Relax

Tension produces irritability and irritability - the main enemy of productive conversation. Studies show that only one minute of relaxation increases the activity of the brain, which is very important to conduct discussions and make decisions quickly.

Before you start a conversation, do the following:

1. On a scale from 1 to 10, how much you are tense (1 - completely relaxed, 10 - you're like a taut string). Record this number.

2. Within 1.5 minutes, slowly breathe: inhale 5 of accounts, an exhalation 5 of accounts.

3. Now yawn a couple of times and note whether or not you relax? Please rate your level of relaxation on a 10-point scale. The result of record.

4. Now you need to stretch your muscles in the body. Start with the face: wrinkle and tighten all the muscles in the face, and then straighten and weaken them. Carefully ponaklonyayte head from side to side and back and forth. Rotate shoulders. Push your arms and legs, count to 10, relax and shake them.

5. Breathe deeply several times. Your condition has improved?

Step 2. Focus your attention on the present moment

When you relax, you focus on the present moment, not paying attention to what is happening around. The same must be done during the conversation. Turn on the intuition and you will be able to hear all the nuances of the speaker's speech, which will give an emotional meaning of his words, and you will be able to understand at what point will roll conversation with your desired path.

Step 3. often silent

The ability to remain silent will help you pay more attention to what other people say. To develop this skill, try to exercise "Bell". On the site, click on the link "Strike the bell"And listen closely to the sound until it subside. Do this several times. This will help you learn how to focus and be silent when you are listening to someone.

Step 4. Be positive

Listen to your mood. Are you tired or feel cheerful, calm or worried? Ask yourself: Am I optimistic in anticipation of this conversation? If you have doubts or anxiety - it is better to postpone the discussion. If this is not possible, then mentally start it porepetiruyte, it will help you find the right words and arguments that will help achieve the goal.

Step 5. Think about the intentions of the interlocutor

To conversation was fair and balanced, one has to be opened for him, and clearly express their values, intentions and purposes. If your intentions do not coincide with human intentions, you are trying to do business - problems are inevitable. Try to find out in advance, that he would like to receive from your partner transaction. But be careful, your partner may well conceal their purpose and say what you want to hear.

Step 6. Before talking, think about something pleasant

Need to carry on a conversation with an expression of kindness, understanding and interest on the face. But if in fact you do not experience such feelings, fake emotions will look awful. There is a little secret: think before you talk about something pleasant, think of the people you love and respect. These thoughts will give your look soft to cause an easy half-smile, and a face unconsciously cause a sense of trust for you from your interlocutor.

Step 7. Watch for non-verbal cues

All the time looking at the one person talking. Stay focused and try not to be distracted by extraneous thoughts. If the person is not telling, or wants to deceive you, he, of course, it will be carefully concealed, but at a fraction of a second, he can relax and give yourself facial expression or gesture. Of course, you can only know that he is deceiving you, but, unfortunately, will not be able to find out the reason for cheating.

Step 8. Be polite conversationalist

Start a conversation with a compliment that she will ask the friendly tone, and finished compliment, expressing your appreciation for the other person talk. Of course, the compliments should not sound like a slaver. Therefore, ask yourself: What I really appreciate about this man?

Step 9. Add warmth voice

Try to speak more in a low voice. On such a voice caller will respond with great confidence. When we get angry when we are excited or frightened, our voice sounds involuntarily higher and sharper, constantly changing its volume and pace of speech. Therefore, a deep voice will signal the other party about your calmness and confidence the leader.

Step 10. Speak slowly

A little slow it helps people to better understand you, not straining to catch every word, it gives them a respect for you. Not so easy to learn to speak slowly, because since childhood, many of us are chattering. But will have to try, because it calms slow interlocutor, while fast causes irritation.

Step 11. Brevity is the soul of wit

Break his speech at the passages of 30 seconds or less. No need to build incredible offers. Our brain is able to absorb information well micro-portions only. Say a sentence or two, and then pause, make sure that people understand you. If he is silent and does not ask questions, you can continue, even one or two sentences and pause.

Step 12. Listen carefully

Focus your attention to the interlocutor, it is important for you all: his words, their emotional coloring, his gestures and facial expressions. When he pauses - react if what he said. Do not forget to listen to the call, and your intuition.

One last tip: meditateWhich strengthens the nervous system and helps to relax, this practice will come in handy during boring conversations.