To get rid of fatigue and injuries, you need to be kinder to myself

Tips Relations / by admin / December 19, 2019

This post was written Niche Balaram, a recent graduate of the University of California at Berkeley. She now works in Greenlining Institute. The narration in the article will go in the first person.

In the end I decided to call his girlfriend. It is clear that lunch together, as planned, we will not be able to because it was already late in the evening. She said, and then began to crack into the phone: "Oh, I lost track of time! So much to do, so much to do! And did you hear what I want to raise?! Nooo? Oh, now I'll tell you everything... "

I felt a storm of emotions. For the third time, she likewise prokidyval me, and all ended my call her to find out what happened? I realized that I was standing, looking blankly at the floor. And what I said to her in reply? I said quite happily, "Yes, all right! Do not worry, I understand everything! Good night!"

When I was younger, I could proudly say that one of the strengths of my character is that I never get angry!

I had a reputation for exceptionally gentle person. And now, after some time, I began to think, and what it really means: to be good?

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Faced with problems getting into a situation of confrontation with other people, I automatically behave as "good", but I do not feel it's right. It's one thing when I automatically agree to never speak in situations where I really agree, but because it happens that I do not agree with the behavior of a person, but still behave nice and flexible, I'm never angry. And then I suffer feelings, it comes to depression.

Four years, I thought about all this, and finally figured out what was going on: the desire to be in all respects a pleasant man turned me into an ugly, submissive creature, which I did not recognize myself. During the discussion I - courtesy of itself, and then feel awful, I feel sorry for myself and sorry for myself.

The situation only worsened with time. I felt helpless and could not change anything. I liked something or not, I limited myself relationships with people were insincere.

But recently I began to realize that being a good person, does not mean to be weak. Compassion for others is a form of power when you really feel it. If you automatically kind to everyone, without thinking and without comparing the value of people with your - it's bad for you. You put on a mask and disappeared from the world, and then you feel tired and hurt.

To be truly kind and compassionate person, you definitely need to think about their needs. If you feel that all the above seems to you, then you will be interested in reading tips, which I came empirically.

1. Take time to take a break from communion

Regardless of whether your company is good or not, sometimes you need to rest from the people. Find some time to be alone. You can walk, do yoga, just 5 minutes to breathe deeply or meditate. You have to feel the moment when it becomes necessary for you.

2. If you find it difficult to express your opinion, write down thoughts in a magazine

It may simply be a notebook, you do not need any complex structured records. Do not hesitate and write really what you think.

3. Reveal parasitic relationship

Be honest to yourself, is there those among your friends who call you or meet with you only when they are away from you need something? Those who always say, but never listen to you? Be honest. We found these? Go to step 4.

4. Try to make more decisions during the daily interaction with people

For example, you select on which movie you go out with friends. keep power say "no"When you are waiting on the kindness, but you do not need. Take time to do something for my own pleasure, do not delay the deal under pressure from someone else. Try to talk more, if notice that the conversation turned into a monologue of your interlocutor. Small daily victories lead to big results.

5. If you follow the step 4, it's good to still track your progress

My friends and I wrote a "letter to the future." A year later, I open this letter and understand how much has changed (or not changed). But before that time is too long to wait, it is necessary to fix and short-term results. Write down each of his victory in the diary. Or put a dollar into a piggy bank every time you showed the determination and expressed their opinions. When the money accumulated enough pamper yourself with something.

6. Remember, you still need support

It can be very close and reliable friends, relatives, or perhaps online forums and communities.

7. To read more books to help you

I realized that it is very useful to read books on self-development and psychology. I did not once re-read tips that were close to me, to remember them and apply in practice. I would advise to start to check out Do not Sweat the Small Stuff and Born to Win.