5 ways to test your relationship, do not I will go

It would seem, live together before the wedding - a good way to see if you two together, whether you deal comfortably with common problems. But there's a catch. After living together for a while, you get used to the established order. You appear pets, common things, is closely associated circle. Easier to stay together than to sever relations, even if they have a problem. As a result, you marry, because it seems to be a natural course of events. And not because you actually decided to move the relationship to the next level.

To not be in this situation, the psychologist Stanley Scott (Scott Stanley) advises before living together to check compatibility.

1. See, as a partner behaves with family and friends

Starting meet, many couples forget about all the rest, and just spend time together. But it is difficult to understand how the partner behaves with others. Yes, you have chemistry, you are attracted to each other, but this attraction is not always so strong. Therefore, to know well how to partner with others accesses close friends. Perhaps it will touch in the future and you.

When dealing with people with whom you grew up, often return old habits. Perhaps you partner while keeping them under control, but they show up later. Just do not make hasty conclusions. Almost everyone have conflicts with family members that do not affect the partner. So first of all look at the overall patterns of behavior.

2. Diversify communication with each other

couples usually operate on the same scenario: have dinner together, go to the movies, to sit at home watching TV. In such foreseeable conditions did not learn about the person. But it is important to understand how he copes with surprises as acting under stress and outside of your comfort zone. Therefore, go do something new: go hiking, sign up for a volunteer project, Participate in something unusual for both of you.

3. Discuss your principles and expectations

To live in harmony, not necessarily agree with your partner absolutely everything. But you definitely will be more likely if your core values ​​are the same. So talk about them until they went into a relationship too far. At the beginning of love can touch them casually, and when you feel that things take a serious turn, discuss them in detail.

• Are you religious?
• Where do you want to live?
• You are ready to move for the sake of work?
• Want to to have children?
• How important to you career?
• Will the problem, if the partner is a lot of work, or often go on business trips?
• You plan your budget?
• As generally behave with money?

In these discussions, consider two things. Firstly, because of the potential sources of love conflicts seem insignificant. You hope that love will win all or partner then changed his mind. But people rarely change their principles and beliefs. So be very honest with yourself and with your partner. Decide what you are willing to tolerate, and what - no.

Secondly, do not forget that predict its future behavior is very difficult. Partner may feel that he will do such-and-such, but not the fact that it will. Therefore, not only listen to the words of the future, but also look at the behavior of today.

4. Plan a trip together

The trips can be seen as a partner behaves with new people and adjusting to unexpected situations. But not only the journey itself helps to get to know the person, but also a preparation for it. You'll have something together to plan, negotiate and make compromises - in general, work in a team. This is an excellent compatibility check.

5. Consult with a family psychologist

With it helpful to talk not only when a problem is detected, but also in advance. It will help to identify potential stumbling blocks will tell you exactly how to strengthen the relationship.

Do not be afraid of such consultations. It is better to learn about something alarming in advance. Perhaps you will understand that you are not ready for marriage, or that one of you need more psychological help. And can, and generally will see that this man It does not suit you. Better to let it happen before you get used to each other or zavedet children.