How to communicate with their relatives during a party and do not go crazy

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If generations of meeting accompanied by awkward questions and misunderstanding, and when it ends, you feel only joy, then it's time to change something.

We know the opinion of experts about how to behave in awkward situations that arise not only at the table, but also in everyday communication with relatives.

When forced to portray fun

Adult son repeatedly asked to get up and make a toast to all. Daughter trying to shake her to join the dance. Grandson, quietly entrenched with a smartphone in the corner, becomes an object of public outrage - the social networks can be interesting live on your own?

In this situation, shut down, as well as go on about family - it means his own close circle of family misunderstanding. It is important to be able to express their will and to do it firmly and confidently, but gently and tactfully, not to offend anyone.

A good way - to remind myself as an individual, to make it clear what you want from the situation uncomfortable and unpleasant to do this you will not. Two or three times a workout, and relatives will begin to respect you and your personal boundaries.

Elena Zolotukhin

When telling embarrassing stories from your childhood

Memories of tricks and mistakes that you made when you were young, seem ridiculous only in close range. And just a story for the hundredth time, you can, if you do not make fun of distant relatives and friends of the parents, you do not even know. Especially uncomfortable if near your significant other that you are invited to meet with the family.

But not always the purpose of these stories - someone hurt. Sometimes they tell us to find a topic of conversation, ponostalgirovat or joke. Yes, and your half is unlikely to scare - probably all at a young age have a situation over which you can now only laugh. Therefore, do not be so hard on your family and do not take everything personally.

When taught to live

Advice that nobody asked, always annoying. Hurt even more unwelcome instruction and teachingEspecially by fiat tone. And usually the main and sometimes the only argument in favor of this - age.

Sometimes these sermons caused by the desire of parents to have their children achieved what could not by himself. Exit here one: to remember and do not hesitate to remind others that you are - an independent person with their own desires, needs and goals.

Another reason - the banal affirmation. When children, nephews, grandchildren become adults manage difficult. They seek their own success, and parents feel that it is, as it were on a par with them and lose credibility.

In order not to spoil the mood of themselves or others, it is important to learn how to respond to such attacks. do not start dispute and do not try to someone to prove something - after all it is only inflame the source, especially if the table has alcohol. And festive meal finally end an unpleasant conversation in a raised voice or even quarrel.

When compared with those who have "done better"

All your concept of success, but for some reason many people forget about it. Psychologists call the comparison with other one of the most sensitive topics in communication with relatives.

The thing is that many early childhood set the example of his elder brother, who brought an excellent rating, or colleague's daughter, who was a good boy and always obey their parents. This not only undermines the self-esteem, but also teaches us to continually themselves compare yourself with others, to determine who is "successful."

To become insensitive to situations where at a meeting with the relatives you start with someone to compare, it is necessary first of all to eradicate this habit in itself.

Ilya Shabshin

To adequately respond to criticism, first you must learn to recognize and appreciate their own success. Knowing your strengths, achievements at the right time will help to defend themselves and their dignity.

When condemn the choice of profession

With the huge number of online jobs the older generation can be difficult to explain what you are still doing and why it matters. After all, in the days of their youth such work did not exist. In other cases, in the course of going back comparisons with other - in the amount of salary and the prestige of the profession. And often the level of prestige evaluate relatives themselves.

Try to calmly explain what you are guided in selecting their classes. For example, for you is not as important salary as an opportunity to do what you really interesting. Or you do not imitate the familiar programmer, because you see yourself working with children. The main thing - take your choice, learn to respect it and stand firmly on his.

Answer can be different. For example: "I am satisfied with my work, and this is most important," or "This is my choice, and I was happy with everything."

Ilya Shabshin

However, if the person is still on the lookout affairs of his lifeSuch conversations can greatly undermine self-esteem. It is important to be honest with yourself, but do not let anyone else to judge your doubts and mistakes and try to influence your decisions.

When asking questions about his personal life

Personal life - on the personal and that you do not have to devote to it all, and even the closest relatives. Do not respond to these questions, you have every right to, without worrying about what will touch someone only because it did not satisfy his curiosity.

However, in the family circle of the popup embarrassing stories about love affairs, hints of what would have been a good idea to start a family, memories of past relationships, or even a direct comparison with the former partners of the current second half. Remain silent or be aggressive in this situation - just not an option: it will be an occasion for even more discussion. Help to laugh it off and the ability to deftly change the subject.

When discussing appearance

If the criticism appearance causes you shame or puts into a stupor, you need to seriously think about their self-esteem. selection clothing style, Length and color of hair - especially your personal decision. And the weight, height and external data in general should not be discussed as a whole, especially at the table.

Relatives think that once they have people close to you, you have every right to express their opinions about your clothes, hair and figure. It should gently remind them that discuss the appearance of other people at least unseemly.

When deliberately trying to hurt

It happens that for family feasts have to meet with those who are unpleasant to you by their behavior, comments or barbs. And it would be good to avoid such meetings. However, if your absence can hurt the person who you love, do not sacrifice the warm relationship with the loved ones.

Remember that if a person is trying to hurt you, most likely something in his own position, he is not satisfied. It may be jealousy, bad temper or desire to draw attention to themselves. However, you do not have to endure the humiliation. Do not be afraid to defend themselves and their opinions and do not allow to spoil your holiday.