We constantly compare ourselves with those around us, and draw conclusions: either we want to do what they do, or condemn them and feel their superiority. But the feeling of superiority - is not happiness, and it does not lead to this. At the same time, a comparison is already so ingrained in our way of thinking that just get rid of it will not work. We'll have to keep track of impulses to compare yourself with the other person and to stop themselves. Read about the causes seriously think about it, and two healthy habits to help stop the eternal comparison.
Before you tell us about your new habits, that it would be nice to have, you need to understand for what they start. Here are a few examples of how people spoil yourself up by comparing - consciously or not - self and others. Often, even strangers.
Social networking profiles
People put in a social network photo most successful and happiest moments of his life. You do not see that there are pictures with the caption "We scary fight, and I break your the iPhone", "I'm depressed" or "I did not pass the interview and decided to get drunk with grief in a nearby bar."
In general, there are only good moments: fun at the beach, a chic dinner, yoga, jogging, or after jogging, party and so on.. One gets the impression that the person is very rich and colorful life.
If you often hang out in social networks, looking at all the funny moments in the life of friends and acquaintances, you may happen to fall uncontrolled self-esteem. Why I do not go to restaurants that serve a nice meal? Why I do not travel, do not go in for sports, and I do not have such a beautiful body?
You compare the moments of your life with someone else, but why? Do they need to be better? Does happiness depend on the better or worse will look moments of your life?
No, happiness is dependent on the adoption of the present moment, rather than the desire to do what makes the other person. In fact, to be happy, we need to be better than anyone else - you need to take it to where we are, what we do and who we are.
The comparison is not adds to our happiness, on the contrary, it makes us envious, angry at themselves and to dream about what we do not need.
Conviction or understanding
People love to judge others in varying degrees. People involved in sports and do not have excess weight, condemning look at obese people who eat in the "McDonald's" and can not be without an elevator up to the third floor. People with stable earnings condemn those who occasionally have to borrow money.
Especially strongly condemn the bad habits of the people who themselves suffer from them, but abandoned. Former smokers, those who abused alcohol or unhealthy food. They are able to to infinity to condemn those who still have not done: "Why are they so weakness of character? "," They have no self-control! "," They let their bad habits to manage a! ".
And with that righteous indignation comes a sense of superiority over others. But this is, as mentioned earlier, does not lead to happiness. Condemnation leads to the fact that you become unpleasant this man, you are coming negative feelings towards him, experiencing disappointment and even disgust.
We would like to see other people are like us to do something to improve their lives. People generally tend to represent yourself in the place of other people, so we always think we know how to be the best for the other person.
In fact, it is very presumptuous. Even if you are dealing with a close relative, you can not guess what he wants in fact, not to mention just familiar people.
When you judge people, you do not take them for what they are, do not take life for what it is, and feel frustrated by the fact that it is not so.
Why not instead try to understand the other person? I am sure that people can understand if you want to absolutely everyone. And when you understand the other person, dislike will disappear, and you will receive another part of this life.
We develop two habits
You're a good man, all the rest - too. Only the comparison makes us think differently. And you can replace it with two excellent habits:
- Accept yourself for who you are. Instead of looking at the lives of others, focus on those good moments that happen in your life. As soon as you notice that you start to compare yourself and other people stop. Instead, look at your life, at all the beautiful things in it.
- Try to understand rather than condemn. When you notice that you are disappointed someone, stop judging. Instead, try to understand the man. Maybe he had a difficult period in his life, he was upset, depressed or angry. Maybe people have lost hope, and in his life really were the circumstances to do so. When you see people convicted retreats.
These two habits you can unlearn comparing yourself to other people, to get rid of envy and become a little happier.