How to reconcile with his second half

1. Calm down and try to figure out what's going on

Quarrels and insults arise at all. Largely because of the inability to speak openly about the problems that are piling up for months and even years. Therefore, sometimes an innocent remark lover or lover address can turn scandal. But you must understand that the true cause of the quarrel is not the point.

Therefore, take some time to yourself and how to analyze their relationship. Perhaps you are surprised to find that trying to keep them constantly, smoothly moving from one argument to another. Are you sure that they are worth your efforts?

Or, conversely, you will notice that your partner and plain text, and hints trying to convey to you that in your relationship that he is not satisfied. Maybe she or he does not have enough attention, you want more affection, or more often to talk heart to heart. Such problems are easy to solve, but you can never guess about them, if you do not ask the right questions.

2. Get ready to talk

Think about what you want to tell your sweetie. Think of the exact wording, not rude or abrupt, which will help you to convey your thoughts.

Unfortunately, rational arguments do not always work. It happens that the relationship simply burned.

In a conversation with a woman, there is one painful moment. You bring the facts, arguments, arguments. You cry out to logic and common sense. And suddenly you find that she disgusted himself sound of your voice.

Sergei Dovlatov, "Reserve"

In this case, only time will help. But try to negotiate still standing.

3. ask forgiveness

What could be simpler? If you are to blame for the quarrel and really sorry about this, talk straight. If you think that what happened there is no fault of your own, but I want to make peace, say they are ready to discuss everything. Make it clear that they are ready for reconciliation and not so angry.

Of course, this is a very idealized situation: life is not so simple and not immediately will deal who is right and who is wrong. Usually, both are good. But to resolve the conflict, it is desirable that at least one of the parties was ready for reconciliation. It is foolish to consider it a weakness of character or too soft. Quite the contrary: in order to make the first step, we need strength.

Pick the right words. It does not matter how you will carry them: in person, by phone or SMS.

Reproaches, using as arguments of past hurts and blunders tough conditions - not the best tactic. Because of this, a little spat could lead to a serious quarrel.

In the series "How I Met Your Mother" characters Lily and Marshall in quarrels enjoyed one small trick: when they felt that their quarrel enters and begins to gain momentum, they put it on pause. Pause - it's time to cool off, relax, have a meal and just relax. Of course, the comic series, but the solution is quite serious: because they have not accumulated grievances and peacefully together with all understand.

4. Learn to listen

After a quarrel is not necessary to engage in soul-searching and worry only about their feelings. Reckon with his second half, and give her the opportunity to speak out. Even if you disagree with how your partner sees the situation, it is not necessary by all means try to convince him or her. Make it clear that you hear what you want to convey, and that you do not dismiss these words as from a meaningless nonsense.

5. surprise

As corny as it may sound, but in any relationship, even the long and always remains a place romance. Small gift, dinner or a standard bouquet - a clear signal that you want reconciliation. Do not be afraid to take the initiative and originality, come to this gesture alone.

By the way, for some reason it is assumed that to make a gift after a quarrel - exclusively male responsibility. This is certainly not the case. The young man also appreciate something nice as a present from a girl.

Try to do something that your spouse will certainly appreciate.

value of the gift does not matter. Rather, quite the contrary: overly generous gift can be rastsenon not as a noble gesture, but as a desire to buy forgiveness.

6. Give the second half of time to think

If your girl or guy in any does not want to make contact, avoids meetings, does not take the phone, do not need to seek a call by hook or by crook. Give him or her time to think things through and sort out their feelings. Obsession does not help you get back to the old harmonious relations.

6. hug

Of course, the embrace of another person in a moment after an argument is hardly appropriate. But when you both have cooled down a little bit, try to just walk up and hug your other half. Tactile contact is important. Sometimes it helps to cope with the contradictions that do not manage to solve the words.

7. laugh

Unwind and take a look at the situation in a positive light humor helps. Suitable and ridiculous joke and a funny grimace, and a pleasant memory. Make your other half smile, and, most likely, the desire to quarrel will disappear by itself.