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Every parent of an adequate well aware that screaming children - this is not the method of education. This recognition of its own weakness, it is unfair, wrong and even "futakimbyt". Yet we sometimes breaks down and shout, swear, stomp their feet and orom. Then, ashamed, sorry for the child, we blame ourselves, trying somehow to smooth this time, looking for an excuse. "Well, I'm just so tired, and then ..." "Well, it was just my favorite dress!" "Well, he just listened to me otherwise!"
Or maybe it is necessary to "quite simply" time to pull myself together and not fall apart? Here are some ways to help mothers and fathers whose children are often withdrawn from the parents themselves.
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The codeword
Think of yourself abstract word, which means that you are on the edge and is about to lose his composure. For example, in our family is the word "fufandi". This is a signal «SOS» for other relatives: mother in a rage and now will be on-the-very swear if she did not help. It is also a signal for the child: game over, if you do not stop immediately, the move will go heavy artillery. This is a serious warning, which means that some very cool "nakosyachil" and must be corrected immediately.
Barbie, what are you doing ?!
Derision to a child's favorite toy, and not on himself. At the same time on your child demonstratively ignore at this time. Let your child see how mom or dad angrily shakes the bear and questioned him, "Who did this?! I ask you, who did? That you izrisoval the wall? How many times have you said that you can not do that! ". On the one hand, you have to let off steam and calm down a little. On the other hand, a child something is well aware that it was he who committed a misdemeanor, not a teddy bear. Finally, listening to your appeal to the toy, the child is more receptive to the meaning of your words, because the curse kind of like it, he does not have to be afraid of making excuses and slap on the ass.
swear whisper
Imagine that you have a sore throat or behind the wall someone is asleep and can not wake up. Shout in a whisper - the child will understand that you are very angry, but at the same time will not be shocked and terrified by your screams.
Vyplesnite negative in another way
Feeling that you are now going to explode, transfer their anger on any physical action. For example, knock a spoon on the pan, squeeze something in my hand to the pain or leg kick wall. Just do not hit the wall with his fist - tested, very painful.
Che cazzo... ?!
If you speak a foreign language, shouting the first, the most insulting and swearing at him unconstructive. If you are not 100% bilingual and do not have outstanding talents, then you will not be so easy to translate Russian curses into another language. This will require effort, redirect your raging energy in a different direction, at the same time allow to talk from the heart, and most importantly - does not injure the child.
growl
Not to slander dangerous for children's ears the words, sometimes it's better just to growl. Or howl. Sometimes it is better to look like an idiot, than to do things, which you then will greatly regret.
Put yourself in the place of the child
Imagine, just very clearly what it is you are standing on my father's favorite cup fragments. This you pour the contents of the pot in the flower room. It is you poured water into a condom and now take aim in front of an open window. And then angry footsteps in the corridor, the door swings open, your heart sinks somewhere, hands and do not obey... and now once again return to its parent site. You still want to, sputtering and rolling his eyes, cry out in the face of this child all the words that revolve in the language?
Do not hoard irritation
Walk for days and inspire me: I am calm. I have it. And even then I suffer. And once more through the "can not" - is not an option. Spring can not squeeze indefinitely, sooner or later it will straighten and robust design sharahnet for your loved ones. If at some time the child begins to have permanently irritate and enrage, the problem is almost certainly not in it, but you. Urgently take a break, take a bath, go somewhere: movies, concerts, shopping, gatherings with friends, at worst, simply leave the house and walk alone. Switch to something, explain to relatives, that this is not a whim, but an urgent necessity to maintain a normal climate in the family.
And finally, do not forget the good old rule of "count to 10". Trite as a colander, and works similarly. Before we demonstrate the full power of his vocal cords, just close your eyes and counted to ten to myself. Then talk. Unnecessary words and emotion "flow away", head clear. And the child, if he is already in the age of reason, smeknot that if my mother suddenly stopped and closed her eyes, then everything seriously.
Good luck and patience in bringing up children, and your children - health!
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