Is there a chance for long-distance relationship

Life in the XXI century is very dynamic. People move between cities and countries, and sometimes have to be for long periods of separation from their loved ones. Someone goes to work, and someone finds a soul mate in the Internet, but it turns out that she lives on the other side of the Earth.

We decided to find out whether there is a chance for long-distance relationship. For a start, we asked employees Layfhakera editors who had experience of such relations, to speak on this bill.

We met his wife in Samara at the festival "404". She was in Izhevsk, I - from Ulyanovsk. Once every two weeks we raced each other to Kazan for the weekend, the rest of the time - chats, calls. We stood about half a year in this manner, after which it became apparent that it is necessary to arrive or leave. Endure the physical absence of a loved one - a big test, which no one does not want.

Alex Sexton

I have five years experience in long-distance relationship. And, to be honest, I have learned from him a great lesson - distance relationships do not exist. It is a myth that often the young lady herself composes and plays with him. In a relationship at a distance of just a girl tied to a guy stronger, she becomes emotionally dependent on communicating with him.

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One of the biggest cons of such a relationship - it is no your half at the right time, whether it's your birthday, sudden hospitalization or just walk around the city in the beautiful weather among week.

We can distinguish the pros relationship at a distance (they learn patience, trust, planning), but it all excuses and justifications, covering the failure of the pair.

Maria Verkhovtseva

One may throw loud phrases that truly loving people always find a way to be together here and now. But life - a complicated thing, and sometimes the circumstances really are stronger than we.

My four-year-experience relationship from a distance made me stronger. The biggest drawback for me was the fact that during the time of separation, I withdraw, "to be paired." Every time you meet a couple of days needed to adjust to the feeling that the next man, he can help, not necessarily to do everything herself.

Nastya Rainbow

I am sure that the long-distance relationship is impossible. That's why.

For a pair of important daily physical interaction: hug, unexpected slap on the ass, kiss before leaving for work and evening and many more details that give the relationship warmth, confidence, makes them especially with this man.

When a relationship at a distance from each of the partners has its own life, its own habitat, and communication that changes a person. Over time, each is changing so that ceases to understand and feel the emotions of joy and partner.

When communicating at a distance from the partner of a real person is transformed into a projection, created by our brain. At the meeting, you suddenly find that your ideal lover loud prihlobyvaet tea, for example, or scatters those most notorious socks. The essence of the relationship is that for a long time spent side by side, we learn to accept the shortcomings of others, and even begin to appreciate them.

Maria Sherstnyov

As you can see, the majority believes that the long-distance relationship is impossible. This position is supported by at least four compelling argument.

4 reasons why long-distance relationship is not a good idea

The pair is experiencing a strong social pressure

If the other half away, we have to constantly answer stupid questions: "When will come your girlfriend?", "Are you sure what he does not walk? "The circumstances are already under pressure psychologically, and such attempts to climb into the soul of all knock out rut.

Close friends and relatives usually understand the situation, but from the pressure of the curious colleagues and acquaintances can not escape. This is because long-distance relationship in the mass consciousness beyond the boundaries of normality. To save them, we must be able to ignore the opinions of others.

People feel lonely in the important moments of life

On the one hand, you can go where you want me to do what is pleasant. But on the other, at all events (birthdays, weddings, family celebrations, and so on) you too will be one.

And if at a party among friends more like something you can cope with the loneliness, the critical moments (illness, death of loved ones, etc.) is simply engulfing.

And if you can not break away and come, bad for both sides. Do you want to see a loved one was near and held by the hand, and your spouse can not find the "right" words of comfort and hates himself for what does not help.

Not enough sex

This is normal. Sometimes lack is not as much sex as an elementary tactile contact, affection.

All cope with this problem on its own. But usually a couple of tries to see as much as possible, and in the intervals between meetings lovers splashes energy into work or sport.

We have to adjust to the schedule of partner

When in Moscow at noon in New York late at night. Couples living in different time zones, for the sake of communicating with a loved one falls enough sleep. Even the difference in a couple of hours can cause a nuisance if you are working or studying.

Adapt to each other is necessary also for meetings. For example, take leave at the same time to hold it together. Hence, by the way, it follows another negative relationship at a distance: the constant flights and travel, as well as long-distance communication needs money.

But it is not all that bad. In relationships at a distance, there are undeniable advantages.

What distinguishes couples who build long-distance relationship

They communicate better

It sounds paradoxical, but it is. If a man and woman live together for a long time, then gradually conversations between them are reduced to exchange news over dinner. This happens because over time people close to beginning to understand each other without a word or a glance. Why say something if and so you see that your significant other, for example, upset about something, and then you can just walk up and hug?

Pairs, separated by kilometers and time zones, forced almost all of their feelings and experiences put into words. After all, no one knows how to read minds at a distance, and without the non-verbal communication can be difficult to reach an understanding. Therefore, in relation to the distance lovers send each other messages and dozens of hours of soul pour over the phone and in to Skype.

They value freedom

His partner and freedom.

In the novel, "Atlas Shrugged," John Galt and Dagny Taggert promised each other:

I swear on my life and the love for her that will never live for the sake of another person and never ask, and will not make another man to live for me.

Relationship heroes of Ayn Rand are based on healthy selfishness and respect for personal freedom of the individual. If your significant other away and wants, for example, to sign up for tango courses, you are not entitled to prevent. When the partner is physically not there, each doing what he wants.

Couples living together, forced subdue selfishness and reckon with each other hobbies. The situation, he loves hiking, and she prefers theater divides. We have to look for a common hobby that satisfies both sides.

Between them there is no quarrel on domestic violence

When a couple starts living together, accusations such as "You're always all be scattered!" Or "You're going too long!" Inevitable. Some eventually reconciled with the habits of each other, while in others the love boat so much beating about the life of the rock, that the feelings come to naught.

In love, living in different cities or even countries that do not need to argue about who washes the dishes today or first goes to the shower. Of course, someday they will have to go through the everyday grinding. But they have enough time to study the habits of each other and negotiate the terms of cohabitation.

They keep jealousy under control

Long-distance relationship - it is primarily a trust. Without it, nothing happens. Jealousy is certainly present, but should be limited to flirt: "And the guy next to you on a photo knows that he It does not shine "," Be a good boy at a party - do not let you stick to the "simple demonstration of how you like! partner.

If there is no trust between you and the constant accusations and suspicions, doomed relationship. Therefore, the pair separated by a distance, be sure to keep her jealousy under control.

They cherish the time spent together

"What we have, we do not store, lost - we cry" - this truth is as old as the world and absolutely true. In regards to the meeting distance usually are rare and short, so lovers cherish every moment spent together.

They are preparing surprises to each other and give your loved one the most attention. At such moments, work, friends, life, in general, all goes by the wayside and there is no room to quarrel over trifles.

If you also have experience of long-distance relationship, write in the comments, what are the pros and cons you have found. And those whose significant other and now far away, it is strongly recommended to read the article about how to keep the relationship at a distance.