What if a woman earns more than the man

Relations / by admin / December 19, 2019

Because of what problems

Man feels the competition

Some men really hard to accept that their spouse earns more. Now she - earner. And it just went around, pushed off the post breadwinner and deprived of privileges.

In a man's world there is a competition: who is more successful, stronger, more useful, more powerful. If a woman earns more, it becomes a competitor at a subconscious level.

Veronica Vardanian, certified coach and an expert on etiquette

A woman stops to see the breadwinner in a partner

The wife no longer accept her husband as the breadwinner when takes this role, and its attitude is changing, there are claims. This leads to depression, reduce sexual desire or changed by the partner.

A woman in a relationship want to feel protected strong man. And this support is crumbling. And pulls a drop of respect for her husband, the extinction of his sex appeal in her eyes.

Ilya Shabshin, counselor, author, leading specialist of the Psychological Center in Volkhonka

Partners make unequal contributions to the relationship

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Often the balance is lost in the family union, and the contribution of the husband and wife ceases to be equivalent. Woman earns, develops, and is engaged in household chores raising childrenAnd the man for various reasons is not ready to take responsibility and help to give us something.

It can not rely on him, and the best will do everything itself, because "no sense of her husband is still there." However, in respect of each must feel needed and to respect your partner.

If a man gives to his companion the opportunity to realize themselves at work, releasing her from household chores, taking on the part of the child care, and even do it with pleasure, then that's great. I know a lot of happy couples, in which the main source of income is a woman.

Catherine Serebryakov, psychotherapist highest category, systemic family therapist

Society imposes stereotypes

Some people think that a woman should be the main kitchen and has the right to earn more than her husband. Just because it is accepted. But when there is harmony in relationships and understanding, it is nothing more than prejudice, which can destroy a happy relationship.

How to save a relationship

Assign responsibilities

If you are offered a new position with high salary, Discuss it with her husband. Both of you must be ready for such changes and agree with them. Speak all the nuances and share concerns, weigh the pros and cons.

I recommend a clear and fair sharing of responsibilities and agree on the jurisdiction of the family budget.

Alena Yashanina, family psychologist

If a problem arises, it should be discussed immediately, rather than wait for the discontent will accumulate and break out.

Give the man a chance to be strong

Spouses need to find as many ways of interaction, where her husband serves as a strong man who makes the decisions, take responsibility, to protect a woman.
Ilya Shabshin

At the same time it is important that you have not experienced guilt and did not throw the work, as long as the partner felt stronger and more confident. Try to find another way out of the financial sector, where possible.

As a way out, go into the shadows for a while and give the reins to the man. Let him decide, think about how to keep the family afloat ship.
Veronica Vardanian

Do not specify the man on his superiority

Obviously, if you will specify each day to her husband for the difference in pay, better not be. Reproach him that he earns less is not worth. You want to inspire and motivate them, and not to aggravate the situation and "finish" partner pressure from his side.

Visit family psychologist

It happens that the desire to take on a major role in the relationship goes back to childhood. And above all, you need to understand yourself.

As a child, the girl had to feel too old to take responsibility for our brothers and sisters, to protect the mother or father, to be strong and keep everything under control. This is called parentifikatsiya.
Catherine Serebryakov

Over time, the situation has changed, but the position remains the same. That is, you just need to have everything in your field of vision, if the world just keeps on your shoulders. However, to cope with this problem, you will be able to influence the financial success of her husband.

Despite the desire to improve relations, unknowingly you are doing everything exactly the opposite. The specialist will also help to understand the causes and to work on the errors detected unconscious motivations that drive you and quietly deprive partner confidence and incentive to anything take.