How to partner shortcomings

Once weathered heady feeling of love and a new object of our senses no longer seem acme of perfection, we find that it has at least one thing that we do not like. This habit or trait annoying, angry, sad.

With the development of relations of people may still be in love, but especially each other begin to lead to constant conflicts. Both want the other to change some habits, and both fails to correct something in themselves. Such often leads to disappointment in a partner, or even hostility. We begin to think: "If he (she) love me (a), I could (la) would change."

But to do something with a deep-rooted behavior almost impossible. Think about some of the character traits were you able to change themselves. Unlikely. Therefore, more than half of conflict in marriage endless and unsolvable - they last throughout their life together couples.

The only way - to realize that your partner will never change. And accept the strangeness of the second half as a part of your life.

Of course, this is easier said than done. We usually strictly differentiated those traits in a partner who love and those we do not like. But in fact they are often inextricably linked.

Suppose wife appeals to the brutality of her husband, a sense of security with him, but did not like the fact that it is not very sensitive and a little emotes. Although the same energy that fuels his manhood to suppress manifestations of tenderness. A wife like that his wife and artistic creative. But it's annoying that she does not like to stick to the plan. However, it is the energy that makes it creative, leads to the fact that a woman acting spontaneously.

Energy, fed by those parties who do you like in a partner, and the answer for those that take you out of yourself.

So do not yearn for the impossible scenario in which the partner retains all the features that you like, and get rid of confidence that you do not like. Once you recognize that the lack of it - is just another manifestation of the same energy, it will be easier to accept that line.

The author of the blog The Art of Manliness by Brett McKay (Brett McKay) brought a few examples from my personal life. His wife Kate is very difficult to be on time, it is late, always and everywhere. She likes to try to overtake the time and experience an adrenaline rush from it. Brett contrary punctual, so this tendency of his wife's annoying. Especially when they have to catch a plane.

She wants to come to the airport in a few minutes, and Brett - a few hours. However, it is not too annoyed to punctuality Kate, because he understands that this is due to feature the same side of her personality that seeks adventure and adds to their life fun. He knows that these are two sides of the same coin, he loves and appreciates.

Sam Brett inclined to melancholy, he often changes the mood. Of course, both of them would have been easier if he was always in a good mood. But Kate realizes that without this side of the character, her husband would not be the man she loves. And perceives melancholic and pessimistic moods Brett as the other side of the coin. One that makes it a conscientious and sensitive.

This does not mean that you have to completely take all the flaws of another person. Sometimes with anything positive they are not connected, and the negativity of some kind of habit more than positive.

Although unwise to assume that someone has completely changed the fundamental character traits, yet it is quite possible to expect from a partner attempts to smooth out a little drawbacks. For example, Kate tries to be on time or late for quite a bit, when the event is important for Brett or for both of them. And he tries to keep a tight rein on his melancholy.

Realizing that annoying traits go hand in hand with those of whom you are enthusiastic, it's easier to take a loved one such as it is. After all, you would not want to empty the source that feeds the positive partner's hand to get rid of habits make you sorry. The same applies to friends. Choosing one side of the coin, and you get a second, and if the medal is good, hold on to it and do not miss.