How to please anyone: Secrets of the FBI special agent

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make a mistake

When Jack Shafer starts to conduct a series of lectures at the new stream, he casually makes a mistake in the pronunciation of some words, and allows students to correct themselves. "I pretend to be confused, thank them for their care and correct errors," - said Jack.

This technique he uses to achieve three objectives. Firstly, when the students of the teacher corrects the errors, it allows them to feel more confident. Secondly, they are beginning to more freely communicate with a mentor. Third, they allow themselves to make mistakes.

This same method can be used to win over any man. Mistaken, show your ideal, let people correct themselves. And they will be arranged for you.

Make a compliment from a third party

Sometimes direct compliments sound too intrusive. Many people are not ready to accept them, or uncomfortable. In such cases it is better to use a compliment from a third party.

For example, you want to ask something to the bookkeeper Yefrosinia Stepanovny for this approach it with this phrase: "Yefrosinya Stepanovna, I've talked with the head of the personnel department, and he said that, in his opinion, you're the best of our employee company! ".

Not necessarily, of course, to praise some professional quality, and can be personal. For example: "Yefrosinya Stepanovna, head of the personnel department said that last February 23 and you bake these pancakes! He still remembers what they were delicious. "

Do not forget to sympathize

Of course, people are much more interested in their own person, than any other. And it is quite normal.

You zavedet more friends in two months, if you have a genuine interest in people, more than two years trying to interest them in him.

Dale Carnegie

More people like sympathetic statements. What is meant by "sympathetic"? Every person is nice to know that he carefully listened to and shared with him his emotions. Of course, if a person begins to talk about the fact that he was a hard day, you should not fall down and say, "What a mess, ah you poor laponka!" Especially if it's your boss.

Is quite suitable conventional statements like, "You have today was a difficult day. It happens to everyone". Or, for example, can be summarized as follows: "You want to say that today you are completely happy with the way you're doing. It's great".

We have to convince the interlocutor that we share his feelings and understand it. In addition, if you are trying to support a person, it is not necessary to accurately reproduce his words. The interviewee may be guarded: his brain will perceive the repetition as an anomaly.

Provide samopohvalu

As we have said, between the usual compliments and flattery, a very fine line, so it's best to make sure that the interlocutor himself praised. For example, someone tells you a story: "In order to close this project I was working 60 hours a week." Here we can say: "Yes, probably, it is necessary to have an iron will and responsibility to work 60 hours a week." Almost guaranteed - the interlocutor will answer something like "Yes, I had to try to take this project on time. Of course, I did a great job. Then do not say anything. "

The ability to make people praise himself - is aerobatics. Practice it, make people pleasant. And you are sure to enjoy.

Ask a favor

Famous words of Benjamin Franklin: "He who once made you good, again more likely to help you than the person you have helped yourself." This phenomenon is known as the effect of Benjamin Franklin. The person who has the courtesy to another person grows in his own eyes. That is, if you want to please a man, it is better not to do him a favor, and ask a favor of him. Of course, should not be abused for help.

As correctly noted above Franklin: "Guests, like fish, begin to smell bad on the third day." The same goes for people who are too often asked for favors!

All of these tips will certainly not appeal to hypocrisy. We just want to help single people to please other people. Sometimes for their own purposes. :)

Based on the book "Turn on the charm of the special services method».