Why is it so difficult to admit their mistakes and what to do

No matter how we try, sometimes we are all wrong. To recognize their own mistakes is not easy, so sometimes we stubbornly continue to stand on his own, rather than face the truth.

The cognitive dissonance

Our propensity to validate their point of view makes us seek and find evidence of self-righteousness, even if they are not. In such situations we are experiencing what in psychology is called cognitive dissonance. This discomfort from the collision of our attitudes, beliefs and perceptions about themselves, contradictory.

Let's say you consider yourself a good person. Rude to someone, you feel very uncomfortable. To deal with this, you begin to deny the wrongfulness, and excuses his rudeness.

Why do we cling to their delusions

Cognitive dissonance threatens our perceptions own "I". To reduce discomfort, we are forced to either change the opinion of himself, or admit they were wrong. Of course, in most cases, we choose the path of least resistance.

Maybe you try to get rid of the discomfort, finding an explanation of his mistake. Psychologist Leon Festinger proposed the theory of cognitive dissonance in the middle of the last century, when studying a small religious community. Members of the community believed that the December 20, 1954 end of the world comes, from which they will be able to escape on a flying saucer. In his book "When prophecy was not fulfilled" Festinger described how after the failed Apocalypse members of the sect persisted to stick to their beliefs, claiming that God just decided to spare people. Clinging to this explanation, the sectarians coping with cognitive dissonance.

The feeling of dissonance is very unpleasant, and we do our best to get rid of him. Apologizing, we admit they were wrong and accept the dissonance, and it is quite painful.

according to researchRefusing to apologize can have psychological benefits, Persisting in its wrongness, we often feel better than ever recognize it. Scientists have noticed that those who refuse to apologize for their mistakes, less likely to suffer from reduced self-esteem, loss of authority and control over the situation than those who acknowledge they were wrong and apologizes.

Sorry, we're kind of giving away power to another person who can save us from embarrassment and to forgive us, but may not accept our apologies and we add anguish. Those who chose not to apologize, first experienced the feeling of power and strength.

Such a sense of their own power seems very attractive, but in the long term, it entails backfire. Refusing to apologize for their mistakes, we will jeopardize the trust on which the relationship holds, and sustains conflicts, kopim aggression and kindle a desire for revenge.

Not recognizing their mistakes, we reject the constructive criticism that helps us to get rid of bad habits and become better.

Another studyWho Accepts Responsibility for Their Transgressions?Spent by scientists from Stanford University, found that people are more willing to take responsibility for their mistakes when they are convinced that they can change their own behavior. However, this confidence is given a hard time.

How to learn to admit their mistakes

The first thing to do - is to learn to notice at his manifestations of cognitive dissonance. As a rule, it makes itself felt confusion, stress, disturbance of mental equilibrium or a sense of guilt. These sensations do not necessarily mean that you are wrong. However, they clearly indicate that would not prevent an impartial look at the situation objectively and try to answer the question, you're right or not.

We should also learn to recognize their usual excuses and explanations. Think of a situation where you were wrong, and they knew about it, but we tried to somehow justify themselves. Remember that you feel when you were struggling to find a rational reason for his controversial behavior. The next time when you will have these feelings, to regard them as an indicator of cognitive dissonance.

Keep in mind that people tend to forgive more frequently and more than it seems. Honesty and objectivity are saying about you as an open person, with whom you can do business with.

In situations where you are clearly wrong, their unwillingness to admit it you show a lack of confidence. Anyone who fiercely defended their errors, literally screaming for his weakness.