How to show your love through touch

Touch can transmit a range of feelings, so it is important to use them carefully and as directed. The fact that you need to know to correctly use the language of touch, says psychologist Roni Beth Tower.

Roni Beth Tower (Roni Beth Tower)

Ph.D., in the past - a professor at Teachers College, Columbia University, a clinical psychologist, researcher, author.

Parental hugs and pats soothe baby. The elder brother leads the younger hand through unsafe streets. Cotton shoulder means support. In our arsenal a lot of different touch, which we express our feelings. These non-verbal ways of expressing love can be the most powerful and honest among all other methods of communication.

That is why touching show love.

• This means for communicating with each other. In the womb the child is surrounded by his mother, and the baby was born the first thing taken into his arms, soothing him. Thus, since the early days we learn to communicate with the world touches.
• This is a universal way to control distance. For people who are in close relationship, it is important to be able to keep a distance - comfortable to spend time together and separately. Nothing will tell you as honestly as touching a loved one, whether he wants to spend time with you now or not, in what mood he is and so on. Therefore, the lack of touch in a relationship at a distance - one of the main difficulties.
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• Touch transmit information. Hand in hand is no less important meaning than words of support. Tactile contact is capable of transmitting information, not less speech.
• Oxytocin is released. This hypothalamic hormone that makes people more sympathetic to each other.
• Increase the feeling of comfort touchand confidence. Close touch reduces stress, and allows to feel protected, even fight infections and reduce pain.

Touch can be very different depending on what they represent.

• Positive. Understood every right as an expression of affection: hugging, patting, kissing, stroking, massaging, other caressing motion.
• Negative. Impulsive or deliberate, the touch is usually reported about the desire to create a distance in the most innocent version or hurt - in the toxicity. This is a blow, a slap, shove, kick, scrape, jab, biting.
• Ambiguous. These contacts may be perceived differently. The way they are perceived depends on the intention with which it is made and how touch sensitive one who relate to, and most importantly - the ability of people with no words to understand each other. For example, the seller, the buyer's purpose concerning his hands, for some it becomes a more pleasant person and declines to buy, but can always scare the other. For a girl tingling may be an indication of love for her, and for others it will be painful and insulting.

What you have to remember to show your love through touch

Recognize the individual characteristics

We are born with different temperaments, based on - the threshold. The perception of different people differ in how strong and how there should be impact to cause their reaction, positive or negative. For example, one tickling - a game, and another person is perceived negatively and becomes a torture. Understanding how your partner reacts to different kinds of touch, shows your consideration and respect, a desire to see him / her as an individual with unique needs.

communication

Touch - is communication between people. It demonstrates understanding of the desires and needs of the other, it allows people to develop their own language. Husband clutching his wife's hand, helping her to feel protected. Hand grip in a tense moment of the film makes it possible to share emotions. Worried something people will take the hand of his partner and, feeling the warmth emanating from it, calm down. We learn to understand many things without words.

Respect for culture

Culture is not only determines the value of the different kinds of touchesBut the rules of their demonstration. These rules are the most critical to methods of expressing feelings - often no one catechumens, they report, is acceptable if the sign is in public or not, whether love or hostility expressed.