Why is the true friendship

Scientists have found that the quality of relationships with people can affect our health and the ability to develop strong friendships. Tell me, do you have any good friends, and I'll tell you if you are healthy.

Sociological research led to a disappointing conclusion: Only half of the friendly feelings are mutual. This issue has attracted psychologists, neuroscientists, philosophers and experts on organizational behavior.

According to scientists divided: some believe the main reason for the weak links of optimism and self-absorption, while others note the change of meaning of the word "friend." In today's world of technology, we "add to friends" or "remove from friends" simple movement or pressing the screen of the smartphone. This behavior causes a fair concern because of the authenticity of the relationship depends on our health.

Attitude to friends as an investment or product - is a betrayal of the very idea of ​​friendship. It is not the fact that someone is willing to do for you, and who you get in each other's presence.

Ronald Sharp (Ronald Sharp), Vassar College professor

According to Professor Ronald Sharpe, we find the time for understanding friends and reveals to them that they recognized us. The notion that it is not necessary to do something, but just enough to spend time together today to some extent lost. People seek the most effective relationship and have forgotten how to be real friends.

During his life, we can make friends with just a small number of people. British anthropologist and psychologist Robin Dunbar (Robin Dunbar), a well-known study of social relationships, offers in his worksR. I. M. Dunbar.The Social Brain. Psychological Underpinnings and Implications for the Structure of Organizations. share a friendly relationship to the levels or layers. The first level he considers one or two people. This may be a spouse and one best friendWith whom you communicate almost every day and are as much an open relationship.

At the next level can be a maximum of four people, with whom you have developed a strong friendship. You are bound to these people and contact a weekly basis. All subsequent levels include acquaintances communication weaknesses, rare meetings.

Lead time and emotions is limited, so our close friends will be only five people. People can say about more, but be sure that they do not have such a number of good friends.

Robin Dunbar, professor of anthropology and evolutionary psychology

In modern culture to rely on someone else - means to show weakness, and strength is to be independent and not allow others to have the influence. But friendship means concern and openness - the things that are poorly correlated with the "polished" page on a social network or photo to Instagram. Many do not want to take risks and believe in the strengthening of friendship in the future, and only notice the shortcomings and awkward moments. As a result, such people remain without real friends.

According to doctorsJulianne Holt-Lunstad, Timothy B. Smith, J. Bradley Layton.Social Relationships and Mortality Risk: A Meta-analytic Review. Superficial or non-reciprocal feelings have a physical effect on the human body. Isolation and loneliness increase the risk of death as well as smoking, alcoholism and obesity. In addition, a person can lose the capacity for empathy, close relationship, support and reciprocity due to disconnection of the corresponding function in the vagus nerves of the brain.

The psychiatrist and specialist in interpersonal neurobiology Amy Banks (Amy Banks) explains that the presence of this friend special function of the vagus nerve causes us a feeling of calm and security of. It is the work of this nerve helps us sincerely to share their experiences and show consideration for the feelings of another person during the conflict.

Therefore, it is important to determine which of a large number of you met people can be called true friends. Who gives you the time, who inspires you, enlightening and comforting in difficult moments. Decide who you would not want to lose, who want to stay in touch with you.

Precise definition of friendship does not exist, but a real relationship unites the effect of Friends shapes our behavior and our views of the world. Depending on our choice of the effect can be both positive and extremely negative. But without friends, we lose a lot, including the years of his life.