How love can change the quality of your life
Relations / / December 19, 2019
Stalberg Brad (Brad Stulberg)
Author of the books "at the peak" and "Gori, but was not consumed" about interested in their work.
My job - to write about and interested in their work efficiency. I know that to win a medal, to make a deal or get promoted very nice. But I am increasingly beginning to believe that for a long, happy and healthy life is important love. This is not just some kind of spiritual truth - scientific studies also confirm this.
The last 80 years of Harvard scientists monitored the physical and emotional well-being of more than 700 participants. It was one of the longest and most detailed studies of this type. Many conclusions quite expected: do not drink too much alcohol, do not smoke, exercise, good nutrition and constantly learning something new.
But in the words of psychiatrist George Veylanta (George Vaillant), who led the research for more than 30 years, the main component of a long, healthy and happy life - it's love.
The quality of relationships is incredibly strong effect on the quality of life.
Than they are deep and full, the better. The word "relationship" and "love" usually evoke the union of two people, but it is too narrow view. You can in fact be in love with some employment, community or nature. In any case, if the feeling is genuine, you will find yourself in the win.
However, love is not so simple, it does not matter - the person or activity. Love - is a continuous process, it needs to be nourished. At a time when the society prevails a constant desire to be online, and the culture of consumption, it is particularly difficult.
abstractnessEmployment and continual desire for something more - the opposite of love. Because of them, she upstaged or entirely displaced because of her need care and attention.
Caring is expressed in sincere sympathy for someone or something.
This is not a fleeting interest that is changing with the emergence of something new. It should be the same.
For example, if you are in for a month enjoys gardening and regularly looked after their landing, they will grow. But if your interest then subside and you will water them only when you have nothing else to do, the plants wither and die. They, like love, need constant care to bloom.
And still need attention. Fully present in the moment. Do not get distracted thinking about where you would like to or should have been. When we truly pay something your full attention, the border between us and the object of this attention is eroded.
We feel a sense of togetherness: become a picture, you write, or forest, where we go. We feel yourself one with your loved one. Philosopher George Leonard wrote that such feelings - this is the place "where God lives." Perhaps they also live and love. Maybe it's all the same.
One can argue about what love is, but it's pretty clear what it is not. This is not a life hacking for quick problem resolution. Not Like in social networks or the number of friends. Not constant distraction from the business, or communicating with a person to verify phone.
Love - is dissolved in the care and attention to someone or something. In joy and sorrow.
It is both easy and difficult. But it's worth it. In addition, in order to nurture the love, not necessarily put a valiant effort. For example, here's what I try to do:
- Walk to the weekly long ride without a phone.
- Read about what I'm interested in, without going to the social network after each chapter.
- Turn off all electronic devices at seven in the evening, to be with his family.
- Do not get hung up on the results and be immersed in the process.
- Play sports and do not look at the clock.
- Build deeper connections with people, even if it is sometimes necessary to sacrifice productivity.
Any sphere contains the potential for love, and, therefore, for a happy life. Just show a little care and attention, to see it.
see also❤
- 5 stages of love, through which pass before the end of the strongest couples
- 24 books on love, which is not ashamed to read
- What love is and what it can be: psychologists view