How do you determine that your business relationships are toxic
His Work Relations / / December 19, 2019
Recognize psychopaths in their business environment and stop working with them.
Where did the concept of toxic relationship? What is it all about?
This business relationships that are harmful. They lead to deception on the part of the partner, the bases, the effect of the glass ceiling, and relations in the spirit of "I can not with you, and I can not live without you." A healthy relationship is filled, enrich and benefit. Unhealthy also destroy and harm.
The concept of toxic relationships originated on the verge of psychiatry and psychology and relationships associated with antisocial or Cluster B disorders in accordance with the classification of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5).
Carriers of toxic relationships are people who are called psychopaths and daffodils. With regard to society psychopaths often called sociopaths.
If your business partner or your boss is behaving strangely, after talking with him, you feel devastated, depressed and squeezed like a lemon, the first thing you need to read, - a collection of the American Psychiatric Association DSM-5.
DSM-5 I think too specific book, intended primarily for psychiatrists. As worthy and more affordable alternative to offer to read a book by Paul Babiak and Robert Hare's "Snakes in suits, "Robert Hare" Without Conscience "Jackson Mackenzie" Freedom from psychopaths, "my book" Antipsihopatiya ". Here you will find a complete list of diagnostic psychopaths and narcissists.
Marina Osborne
Why toxic relationship is not to be underestimated?
One of the cases occurred in the Russian company, which celebrated its 25th anniversary. There were two authority: an ambitious CEO and one of the key shareholders and the company's founder, who held the honorary position of vice-president.
The company has always had difficulties with sales. The Director-General was able to restructure the sales and bring business into profit. "In gratitude" for it is the founder initiated the dismissal of the CEO, and the successes attributed to the Shareholders' Meeting itself. It was said that he began to fear the increasing power of a successful director and decided to fire him.
Another example: the director of a small firm, authoritative and suspicious man, chooses employees tarnish criteria and the ability to obey. All employees have only one opinion - the opinion of the director. Director embroiled two employees in private affairs, which threaten them with criminal charges. Accountant performs business espionage, and the technical director of forged documents. The company 20 years, but it does not develop.
And such examples of management behavior, exhibiting signs of psychopathic disorder, Mass.
And how to define a psychopath? Are there any signs?
Yes, they are. But if you are not a psychiatrist, and you do not have the conclusions of experts, you can not anyone make a diagnosis "psychopath" or "daffodil." Throughout the world, there are difficulties in the official statement of the diagnosis. Because one or even a few signs may be the result of poor parenting, the impact of negative social environment, or delusions. Yet these diagnostic markers need to know. If most of them are at the person, it is necessary to take measures to protect themselves and the business.
The key features of psychopaths and narcissists for persons older than 18 years are:
- The extreme degree of self-absorption, manifested in personal gain, power, and pleasure.
- Ignoring social standards, laws, and ethics.
- Lack of empathy and remorse for committing bad deeds.
- Inability to reciprocity in intimate relationships as the primary means is the exploitation of others, including by means of deception, coercion, domination and control.
- Extremely manipulative style of behavior.
- Pathological FalseA false image of themselves and embellishing themselves fraud.
- Aggressiveness, sadism, lack of sensitivity to other people's problems.
- Hostility, irritability, constant or frequent outbursts of anger, mean, nasty and vindictive behavior.
- Irresponsibility, disrespect and optionality.
- Impulsivity, difficulty in planning.
- The constant need for risk, susceptibility to boredom, the denial of the reality of personal danger.
- A number of violations in the manifestation of personal qualities.
Different authors cite statistics that 1 to 4% of people have a personality disorder Cluster B. In prisons, the percentage is higher - from 25 to 40%. In any average company numbering 100 people with weak filters on the stages of the management team, personnel search and selection, can be found from one to four employees who have the majority of these signs.
In addition, cluster B personality disorder is not a mental illness. Call such people loonies correctly. All of them are socially adapted and give a full report of his actions.
Outwardly these people by their behavior do not differ from the normal, so as to achieve their goals are able to wear those masks and play roles that are needed at the moment.
Their true nature of others notice the tracks already Implemented sabotage and destruction. Or when combined with diagnostic markers hysteroid behavior or drug and alcohol addiction.
In the second example, which was brought above pronounced this phenomenon inherent psychopaths as using "volatile monkeys." So in the professional literature as those people who are psychopaths do his accomplices. Never trusting no one, psychopaths by manipulating receive from co-dependent partners the highest credibility. Those are their loyal assistants just for an idea. In the case of its failure psychopath still knocks on them.
Being in the same team with such a man - this is very serious. This inevitably leads to problems for the slave or partner. At best, you can expect financial losses. In the worst - health problems (heart attack, Stroke, diabetes), and even withdrawal from life.
How can get out of toxic relationships?
The business does not always happen immediately or even quickly get out of the business relationship with the toxic partner. it is often associated with a high risk of loss of its assets, customer base, well-established business contacts, reputation, and sometimes the risk of a complete collapse of the company.
Demolition - this is what leads any alliance with a psychopath. They are saboteurs and destroyers by nature.
So the first thing you need to do once you have any doubts about the business partner, or someone from the members of the management team is to check where you have already violated boundaries in the relationship. If possible, restore them or build new. Manipulators very quickly realize that their victim tries to get off the hook. Therefore, the tactics of interaction with them should be different at different stages of relations.
If you have not yet signed the important documents are not sealed their agreement in word or in print, as much as possible insure. Psychopaths will find a thousand and one reasons to avoid responsibility and commitment. Often get their signature on an important document becomes a real challenge.
Now clearly Negotiate all conditions, preferably in the presence of a third party, or record the recorder or camera. Otherwise, can later be faced with the assurance that "this was not", "I did not say that", "I did not do it."
All terms and conditions and your limits, that is not permissible to violate, indicate from the outset.
When you try to break the boundaries firmly place the partner is not a place. The psychopath has to realize from the outset that you have nothing to take. His motivation is based on personal gain, his own established rules and laws.
If you can not find a solution that satisfies both sides, better give up any Cooperation with the person who you feel slippery, unpredictable, too impulsive, canny. There was a businessman who loved to utter the phrase, "My word. I want to - to give, I want to - I take it back. " This is the motto of the psychopath in business and any other ways.
If, in step existing relationships everything went wrong, you need to immediately engage a good lawyer. Losses are inevitable.
Marina Osborne
In my practice there was one lost a lawsuit in which a psychopath suing my company, entered into an agreement with my lawyer and senior manager my main VIP-client. We had to close the company and open a new cost huge financial loss and damaged reputation. Then for many years, I restored the business, but has not been able to return to previous results in his city. So look for a reliable and highly professional lawyer with a good reputation. And collect a maximum of documents and evidence, which will help you in the future to protect themselves. Unfortunately, the experience of people affected by psychopaths, shows the incredible good luck and skill of the latter.
Relationship with such people usually start too perfect. This is one of the signs of toxic relationships. As soon as you have established a relationship began to notice warning signs immediately to take screenshots of important messages. Make copies of the documents, change passwords, change the storage location of vital documents, place the order in the Documents, back up a client database, close the the key contacts with important business partners. And be on the lookout.
psychopathic actions are similar to a virus attack. Toxic implementing partners in the conscious and unconscious victims of malicious and destructive programs. Under these programs, the victim changes the attitude to yourself and to the world.
Forms toxic partner quickly fills all the thoughts and feelings.
On the idealization phase of the victim there is euphoria, joy, excitement, hope, enthusiasm, energy boost. But over time, the euphoria gives way to sadness, joy - sadness, admiration - anger, hope - resentment, excitement - complete helplessness and a burst of energy - devastation and depression.
This is similar to how the virus deletes all programs, and eventually the computer stops working. Anti-Virus finds the places where inject malicious files and then deletes them. Then you can do a defragmentation of the hard drive and install new programs.
The victim of a psychopath have to do the same with your mental computer. Realized scale destruction alien thought installation and triggers that destructive process run conditions. After that, the victim inevitably breaks up with a psychopath, and these feelings adds a feeling of emptiness.
Then begins the deletion, substitution and change of mental programs and files. All this changes the status of the victim. Laid and formed new programs, habits, attitudes, rituals.
Complete healing process depends on the duration of toxic relationships on the extent of the ravages of the psychopath and the initial state of the victim. In any case, since the gap until full healing are not months, but years.
How to forget about the toxic relationship and start a new life?
Those who are faced with toxic people usually gain experience, which is a representative of the cluster B formulated as follows: "With me you get the lesson that you can never forget." And so it happens.
Someone ends up life suicideSomeone becomes daunshifterom. The strongest start from scratch business or career.
Here are the most effective ways to start a new life:
- Training and retraining. Implementation itself in new business, new jobs, careers.
- Any kind of creativity: writing, painting, drawing, composing music, the songs, the creation of their own hands (modeling, knitting, embroidery).
- Participation in various social projects and movements.
- New healthy relationship.
- Achieving the goals that once seemed improbable.
- Participation in a variety of professional and creative competitions.
- Creating a new image of yourself and your life style.
- Moving to another city or country.
- Training to something completely new. For example, study foreign languages.
- Create your professional blog or a channel on YouTube.
We wish you avoid toxic relationships, or at least be prepared for it. Be prepared to not only protect yourself and your business, but also to find the strength to give up such a relationship. God be with you, and the power of love.