How do you know that you have a low level of emotional intelligence, and what to do

Test your knowledge

1. I adequate in assessing their capabilities?

Surely you are very boring people who sincerely believe that they have a great sense of humor. Or scribblers, claiming to excellent writers or journalists. Or photographers making pictures that appeal only to themselves, and others simply do not understand the artist... It is very likely these are people with low EQ.

A well-developed emotional intelligence suggests that a person is well aware of their strengths and weaknesses hand, it develops dignity and struggling with defects that interfere with life, not only him, but also others.

To surely detect a person with a low level of emotional intelligence, Tell him that he does not understand the feelings of others. In response, followed by a statement that he's the best empath than you and everyone around together.

Symptom low EQ: you often feel that you do not understand and do not appreciate, do not recognize the merit unfairly criticized wrongly evaluated.

2. How much do I criticize?

Holder low EQ, tend to be very critical with respect to the other. A call to understand and forgive - not for them. They are irritated when asked to enter a position to be lenient, like blame and give advice.

As a rule, people with low emotional intelligence believe that others are too sensitive (because they do not feel the same way). May be beyond a joke, at the wrong time, to make fun of drawbacks: usually it is done supposedly for good, to open their eyes to the truth. They do not realize that in this way can make a person worse strengthen his pain, the misery.

The reason is simple: people with a low level of EQ does not understand what others feel.

Symptom low EQ: if the person responds to your joke is painful, you conclude that it is too emotional, gives too much importance to stupidity. If you are asked by displays of emotion in response, it causes frustration, irritation, anger.

3. Do I accept someone else's point of view?

Another feature of the holders of the low EQ - love to disputes and inflexibility. These people are so genuinely believe that they are right, that it is impossible to convince them. They refuse to accept arguments that are different from their point of view, consider them knowingly false.

Symptom low EQ: you are part of the plant spores from scratch (the reason could be anything), and always require from the opponent to provide a large number of arguments. The verbal battle involved many people: friends, family and colleagues. Controversy often becomes emotionally exhausting for all parties.

4. I blame others for your mistakes?

Inability to manage their feelings often leads to emotional outbursts. A person who has a higher level of the EQ, easier to avoid them, because he understands what is going on with him, and tries control emotions.

But the picture is quite different for those who have low EQ. Control what you do not understand, it is very difficult. Therefore, the surrounding of a more developed emotional intelligence, such outbreaks evaluated as inadequate.

Symptom low EQ: you usually blame their inadequate behavior is not himself, and other people or any circumstances. This occurs instinctively, as you do not realize that they themselves have caused an emotional outburst. Are you sure that the choice you did not, and associates just do not understand. Because of this, you feel like a victim, you hurt.

5. I hide my true emotions?

Especially people with low EQ - inability to cope with situations that evoke strong emotions. They try to avoid them. And because hide their true emotions from others.

Symptom low EQ: you find it difficult to maintain friendships and love relationships. Annoys you need to make concessions and find a compromise, consider the opinion of a person nearby. You do not find a sense of compassion, you find it difficult to understand how it is possible and necessary to support a loved one.

6. Can I put myself in the place of another?

Here everything is simple: because the low level of emotional intelligence of a person does not understand his or other people's emotions, it is devoid of empathy. At the same time, in some cases, he may try to empathize with (for example, it can move the homeless kittens and puppies). But in dealing with people's different.

Symptom low EQ: Have you ever wondered what would feel the emotions experienced, being in the other person.

Just a few features of people with low EQ

• They are not interested in people, they do not want to understand what their character is what lies behind the actions.
• They experience negative emotions, but often can not understand the cause.
• They are self-centered, do not always notice what others need help.
• They are afraid to make mistakes and conclusions from them, it is hard to recover from failures often become fixated on the slips, are engaged in self-flagellation.
• They do not trust intuition, think that it is stupid.
• They are poorly adapted to the new conditions, do not like change.
• They are not able to listen and hear.

In order to determine their level of emotional intelligence, as you can pass the testDeveloped by psychologist Nicholas Hall.

How to develop emotional intelligence

• Examine yourself. To do this, you need for a certain time (eg, weeks) to record events and then what kind of emotions they have caused. Write about everything: with what feelings woke up this morning that feel when you drink the first cup of coffee, drive to work, get a scolding from the boss, meet with friends, and so on.
• Determine how your body responds to different emotions. Do you feel butterflies in your stomach when in love? How to behave during stress: You want to cry, or, on the contrary, to destroy everything around? What happens when you get tired? What aftertaste strong emotions that you experienced?
• Find the link between emotions and your behavior. For example, if you are angry, the negative carry on those who close. Or, if you are ashamed, you prefer no one to talk. Analyze this relationship and define for yourself what you would like to change.
• Find your source of positive emotions. This can be a visit to your favorite coffee shop, delicious coffee, smiling child, a beautiful view from the window, a walk through the woods. This will be your emergency reserve for those cases when you need to recharge positive. Become an optimist.
• In dealing with other people, be as open as possible and easy. Clearly argues his position, but do not push.
• To learn how to make a different point of view, try to analyze, for example, a televised debate. Stand on the side of your opponent, and then another.
• Develop empathy: often put themselves in the place of others, try to imagine what emotions a person experiences, as much as possible to help him.
• The interests of other people and their opinions, positions. Try to guess their emotions by gestures, facial expressions, voice.
• Determine how you are acting people. Irritating or glad? Nerviruete or calms? You can ask this question to people close to, but do not be discouraged because of the unpleasant answers. It is always possible to fix it.
• Remember, when you begin to understand their behavior, it will be easier to control. You can not give in to emotions and consciously decide how to act in a particular case.