Emotional Intelligence - the key to successful interaction with others

What is emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence (emotional intelligence, EQ) - the ability to determine, use, understand and manage own emotions in a positive way, for example, to reduce stress, overcome difficulties and discharged conflicts. Also, this ability allows you to identify the emotional state of others.

Emotional intelligence can be improved at any time of life.

However, between the study of emotional intelligence and its application in practice is a big difference. You can understand that we must make certain steps, but this does not mean that you have committed them, especially if you are in a stressful condition. In order to change their behavioral habits, you must learn to deal with stress.

Emotional intelligence usually consists of five components:

• Self-knowledge. You acknowledge their emotions and understand how they influence your thoughts and behavior. You know your strengths and weaknesses, you have confidence in their own abilities.
• Self-control. You are able to control impulsive feelings, to control your emotions in a relationship, take the initiative to follow the obligations and to adapt to changing circumstances.
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• Empathy. Do you know how to develop and maintain a good relationship, it is easy to communicate, inspire and guide other people.
• Motivation. Can you imagine your goal and clearly realize every step on the way to his dream.
• Social skills. You can understand the emotions, needs and concerns of others, recognize non-verbal cues, comfortable feel in a society determine the status of a person in a group or organization to resolve conflicts within the team.

Why emotional intelligence is so important

Experience shows that not always the smart people achieve success and high social status. Surely you recall a couple of people who have a bright academic knowledge, but at the same time are socially incompetent at work and in their personal lives.

A high IQ does not guarantee success in career and family. Yes, he will enroll in a prestigious school, but emotional intelligence help out when you need to calm the emotions before the final. In tandem IQ and EQ are mutually reinforcing.

Thus, emotional intelligence influences:

• School performance and productivity at work. Emotional intelligence can help you navigate the complex social relations in the workplace, to become a leader and motivate others to excel in their careers. Many companies measure emotional intelligence of candidates for interview, considering it no less important characteristic than professional competence.
• Physical health. If you are unable to control your emotions, you probably do not know how to control stress. This can lead to serious health problems. Uncontrolled stress increases blood pressure, suppress the immune system, increases the risk of heart attack, contributes to infertility and accelerates aging.
• Mental condition. Uncontrolled emotions and stress affect mental health, which makes us vulnerable to anxiety and depression. If you do not control their own emotions, you can not build a strong relationship. In the end comes the feeling of loneliness and isolation.
• Relationship. Understanding and managing your own emotions, you will learn how to express their ratio close to, Others feel. This will allow to communicate more effectively and build trust.

That will help shape the emotional intelligence

1. self-knowledge

Psychologists say that the current experiences are a reflection of the earlier emotional experience. This means that your ability to perceive anger, sadness, fear and joy, is likely to depend on the quality and intensity of emotions in the early stages of life.

If in the past you appreciate and understand their emotions, they become valuable assets for the future. If the experiences have been painful and confusing, you are likely to do everything possible to distance himself from them. But do not step back even from the negative feelings, because the acceptance and awareness of their emotional state - the key to understand how emotions influence your thoughts and actions.

Ask yourself some questions:

• Whether emotions are accompanied by physical sensations in the stomach, throat or chest?
• Do you feel that is clearly reflected in your facial expressions?
• Can you feel the strong feelings that entirely absorb your attention and the attention of others?
• Do you follow your emotions when making decisions?

If there is at least one negative response, your emotions are suppressed or switched off. In order to have a healthy emotional intelligence, you have to open up feelings, let them into your comfort zone.

Here are the most faithful ways to improve self-knowledge:

• Practice mindfulness. That is a deliberate focusing of attention on the present moment. Awareness is often associated with meditation in Buddhism, but the majority of the world's religions practiced something similar in the form of a prayer. She takes off her concerns, calms and configures, builds character.
• Keep a journal. At the end of each day, write down what happened to you, how you feel and cope with difficulties. Periodically look back and analyze typical situations, mark where you do not put the squeeze or overdone.
• Ask loved ones what they see you. Testimonials from a few people to bare your strengths and weaknesses. Do not forget to fix everything and find patterns. The main thing is not to argue and argue. Important for you to look at yourself through the eyes of strangers.

2. self-control

Awareness of the senses - this is the first step to emotional management. You have to use emotions to make constructive decisions and build strategy. When you become too tense, you can lose control and lose thoughtfulness.

Remember how easy is it to think rationally in a state of overload. Probably not. This is because the brain is suspended from the thought processes and switches to an overabundance of feelings.

Emotions are important pieces of information, they tell us about ourselves and about others. However, under stress, we become depressed and lose control of themselves. Learn to cope with stress. So you can control the feelings and behavior, manage relationships, take the initiative in their own hands, follow the obligations and adapt to the changing world.

So how do you learn how to self-control? Surely you have heard of the old-fashioned way - to count to ten when you're angry.

Does not always suppress the anger or depression, however, is a physical impetus to the site. You feel tired - do some exercise. You can not muster the strength - embed themselves slapped. In general, use any physical action that will lead to easy shock and break the vicious circle.

3. empathy

We constantly focus on what is most important is for us. However, our emotions - only half of the relationship. All other people also have their own feelings, desires, fears, and triggers. Therefore, empathy - a very important life skill.

Try to practice a few tips to help you become an empath:

• Talk less, listen more. This is the golden rule of any genuinely compassionate person. Of course, you can not let through the whole gamut of another person's feelings, but you can try to hear him. Just let the man speak out without interrupting his thoughts. It is difficult, especially if there are strong negative emotions. However, almost any relationship becomes stronger only due to the fact that you wait a few extra secondsBefore you start the conversation.
• Take the opposite opinion contrary to his own position. To understand what motivates a person, you must be in its place. If you feel that your boss is in a reckless state, try to justify it in my mind. Perhaps you would do the same if it were in his shoes.
• Understand the difference between the words "I know" and "I know what you mean." The first refers to the fact that you allegedly had a similar experience. The second says that you have considered the situation and lost it from his face. Of course, the understanding of other people's problems - a more trustworthy and true level of relations.

Empathy involves your response, but it should arrive on time. If someone is ready to burst into tears or ruptures of deep pain, do not try to dampen feelings. A person should throw out the emotions, and he will need your help.

4. Motivation

When we talk about motivation as a component of emotional intelligence refers to the inner core, but not the psychological strength to lift his body off the bed. As psychologists say, our core is in the prefrontal cortex of the brain. She begins active at the thought of performing important tasks.

The target can be a career, a family, a work of art and anything, if only it had a weighty significance in your life. When the motivation is taken for the cause, it is combined with the reality, and we are making real things. To start a family, motivated people begin dating. In order to get a promotion, motivated people are taking up self.

How to find your core? The first step is to figure out their own values. Many of us are so busy they do not have time to delve into yourself and determine priorities. Even worse, if the person doing the work, which is directly contrary to his worldview and principles.

Secondly, it is necessary to move its goal on paper and paint it in detail. It being understood that the great success greatly extended in time. It consists of small victories and the bitterness of defeat.

5. social skills

Social skills - is the ability to understand non-verbal cuesThat the people around you a permanent address. These signals provide a clear understanding of what a person is experiencing and what really matters to him. In order to take non-verbal signals, it is necessary to suspend his thoughts, not to think about the goals and objectives that you pursue, being next to a man.

Social skills can not work for you, if you think about something else, and not on the current event. When we are immersed in memories or are transported into the future, we simply do not have in the present. Catch thin nonverbal signals due to this becomes problematic.

You should not have any illusions about multitasking. Yes, we can switch between themes very quickly, but the transition is lost delicate emotional shift, which helps to understand other people.

Good social skills improve, allowing differences:

• Spend time with each other, and then come back to the problem. In romantic relationships you need to remind your partner that stands for criticism of the care and love.
• Make sure that both sides are exactly the cause of the conflict. Offer a mutually beneficial solution that takes into account the mutual desire and eliminates the additional requirements.
• Complete the one-note, even if it is not entirely positive. Let your boss, a colleague or a significant other know that you are moving in the same direction, albeit with different points of view.

Along with the resolution of conflicts, you need to teach yourself to learn, to maintain a conversation, to play. It is desirable to pre-study the mentality of people of different nations.