15 little secrets that will help you to please others
Relations / / December 19, 2019
1. memorize the names
The proper name for any person - it is the most pleasant blend of sounds. So why not play on it? Memorize the names of people and use them. Renowned psychologist Dale Carnegie was convinced that this technique is guaranteed to increase the number of fans.
For the person with whom you are in contact is not very often, the mere fact that you remember his name, will be a pleasant surprise. It will be a lot of surprised and flattered by the attention to his person.
It is not necessary to repeat the person's name is literally in every word. Instead, try to remember it immediately at the time of love, and then use whenever you want to start a conversation.
2. Control your emotions
Technologies are gradually replacing the living human communication. But people still remain quite social beings, for whom it is important to show emotions.
We subconsciously choose our interlocutors in the person who is closest to us emotionally, and their behavior does not cause rejection. It is often such that the conversation somehow capture the overall mood, and then adjusted to each other.
If you want to make someone a good impression or make someone's day a little better, try to control your moodTo share with others only with positive emotions.
3. Use non-verbal means of communication
Learn to listen. And not just the ears. Try to show people that the conversation is really important to you, using non-verbal means of communication:
- Otzerkalivayte interlocutor - copy of his position or manner of speech, but not get carried away too much, or he may think that you have it mimics.
- Maintain eye contact - no one likes to hold a conversation with someone who is looking somewhere not there. It is unclear whether he actually listens, or preoccupied.
- Nod, smile, gesticulate, but in moderation.
Behave naturally, do not try to use all means of nonverbal communication at the same time.
4. Practice active listening
The ability to listen carefully to the interlocutor is very important to maintain a constructive conversation. You will be much more like the others, if concentrate on maintaining a conversation and not on something extraneous. Try to master active listening technique to demonstrate how careful you may be with respect to the interlocutor.
Active listening - a special method of demonstration of attention, which is used in psychology and psychotherapy. It is used when you want to show the person that you understand and share his feelings, and are ready to offer their assistance.
The most common techniques of active listening:
- Paraphrase (paraphrase) - recapitulation spokesman said in your own words.
- Clarification - the identification and clarification of further details of the story, to imagine a situation more fully and in detail.
- Post about perception - verbal demonstration of the other party that you have understood it. Fit the phrase "I understand how you hard," "I can imagine what you're feeling," and the like.
- Pause shows the other party that you carefully thinking and rethinking uttered a word.
In addition, it is possible and it is necessary to ask the other party relevant questions, but in any case it should not be interrupting.
5. Provide feedback
To give people to understand that you really do not indifferent to him, raise a topic that was discussed with him earlier.
Your colleague said that over the weekend his son will be a matinee? Ask to tell you how it went. Your friend said that the weekend is going to rearrange the furniture and repaint the kitchen in a new color? Ask what came out of it, and if he likes the result.
It is not necessary always to discuss some very important and global issues. Life consists of many small and insignificant at first glance the events. Attention and interest to them gives rise to talk. People are pleased and flattered when someone is interested in the details of their lives.
6. Do not skimp on praise
This praise is significantly different from the gross flattery, which is very easy to recognize. Remember, no one likes sycophants.
Dale Carnegie, author of bestsellers on communication skillsPeople are hungry for approval but getting it is very rare. Much more often heard the criticism and ironic comments.
Sincere admiration for the work done on the conscience, awareness that the efforts are seen and appreciated - that's what people want to hear really. Do not skimp on the words and sincere praise.
7. Criticize constructively and essentially
Be generous with praise, but do not get carried away criticism. People extremely vulnerable. Even not very hurtful words can be very hurt self-esteem. Sometimes uncritically do does not work. Remember that in these cases it should be constructive and not be negative connotation. If someone makes a mistake, do not scold him publicly. Be tactful and delicate.
Use the technique of "sandwich". Its essence is that any critical review is based on the following scheme: praise, criticism, praise.
Good example. Report that you sent me, it looks very impressive. Good job, only a cursory view I think I noticed a few errors. I can, of course, be wrong, but it would be nice to check out. By the way, I forgot to say in the last post to Facebook, you wrote about our company, such a large scope that it can not but rejoice.
The purpose of criticism is to consist in the fact that the other person admitted his mistakes on their own, without your direct instructions to them. The example that we discussed above, you can just say, "Again you have some ridiculous mistakes in the report. Correct them at last. " And just wait for a response.
Man will definitely take apologies and vowed to improve. No need to take it for granted. Try to reassure him, tell him not to worry, convince him that he is sure to acquire the necessary skills and in the future you no longer arise similar problems. The less you poke your finger in the error, the better.
Before you start to criticize someone, think twice. Make notes only when it is really needed.
You can stick and the other tactics: before telling someone on his mistakes, first tell us about all the missteps that have committed or are committing in the process yourself. And only then proceed to the shortcomings of someone else.
8. Do not order and offer
Few people like to be talking to him in the writ tone and do not make the most pleasant thing. But what in those situations where you from man something really necessary?
You can get what you want, simply by asking the right questions. The result will be exactly the same, only the person will not feel humiliated and insulted.
Good example. Ivan, tell me, do you have time to deal with it the annual report until this evening? I would be very grateful!
It seems that the difference is obvious.
9. Be a real person, not a robot
Self-confidence makes a person more appealing to others. But it is important to strike a balance and begin to appear over the arrogant and pompous. The nature and the inner core you need to be, but do not go too far.
That others had for liking you, be honest with them. Do not go out of his way, trying to sound the man, who is not a. People quickly recognize false. Agree, it's hard to feel good about the person to whom you can not trust.
Be consistent. If you want to look the person on whom you can rely, it is ensured to others, it would be nice to treat them, regardless of their mood.
Make sure that you are applying, and behaves. Forget about the arrogance and arrogance, try to help people as much as possible.
10. Learn basic storytelling
People love captivating storiesSo try to be a good storyteller. Presentation of stories - a special form of art that requires skill. You will need to learn to express their thoughts, to focus attention on the most interesting moments, follow the speech and not to tire his companions. Learn how to retain and attract the attention of people, then they will start to stretch you.
11. Do not become distracted by the phone
If you are with someone talking to, then remove the smartphone away. Nothing more than a distraction from the conversation as permanent a quick look at the screen during the conversation, as well as the sounds coming messages and notifications. This makes it difficult to concentrate on the conversation, and pretty annoying.
Any conversation will be many times more pleasant if you are absorbed in it entirety.
Focus on the contents of the conversation. Phone from you is not going anywhere, but people may well be.
12. Do not be afraid to ask for advice
It seems that this is one of the easiest ways to get people to like you. When you ask for advice, we are showing the person that his opinion is important and valuable to you. You show that you respect him.
When you give a person the opportunity to feel important and significant when he realizes that without his help will not cope, then it begins to penetrate to your liking.
13. Avoid cliches
Let's be honest: nobody likes boring people. They are predictable to yawn and terribly uninteresting. We often like bright, imaginative, original and sometimes even bizarre people.
As a trivial example: Imagine that you take someone's interview. Instead of at the end to say to his companion catchphrase "It was nice to meet you", try to make some adjustments. Tell me instead of her, "I was really pleased to talk" or "I am glad that we have finally a closer look."
No need to reinvent the wheel - be yourself and show imagination.
14. Ask questions
Interested in the lives of people with whom you want to strike up a good relationship. Ask about their interests, hobbies, books they read and the movies they watch. This is a sure-fire way to gain attention.
People are self-centered and most of all love to speak about himself. If you let the other party that little weakness, he unconsciously celebrate you as a very nice person.
15. Be objective
Nobody wants to deal with a man who irrevocably drove something into his head, and not willing to change an opinion. If you want to please others, be unbiased. To get rid of prejudices, try to look at the world differently: listen to the opinion of others, then match it with her and try to come to some kind of compromise.
Add to their normal behavior a couple of good habits and watch your popularity soars to the heavens.
see also🧐
- 11 tips that will make you charming man
- 8 ways to charm a man
- 5 Habits exceptionally charismatic people