6 signs of unhealthy relationships, people who are considered normal
Relations / / December 19, 2019
Relationship - a delicate matter. And we think some of their natural features, though they pose a danger. Business Insider has compiled a list of the six most dangerous habits to which we treat leniently.
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When it comes to relationsWe often find ourselves unprepared for them. In many ways, the problem lies in the fact that we normally refer to certain habits that erode mutual affection.
Here are six signs of an unhealthy relationship. They are accustomed to, but fraught with danger.
1. The game "Who is more fucked up"
What is it. Partners remember each other past mistakes and lead virtual account points. If a couple can not go to the next stage, the relationship turned into an endless game of "Who is more fucked up." Such relationships become real flour.
Why is that bad. Scoring and constant recollection of past mistakes leads to dissatisfaction and attempt to make a partner more guilty, rather than solve the problem.
What to do. Stop partner to remember past mistakes. Forget about counting points. It does not matter failure three years ago a partner. Every person - is the amount of past actions, so take it for what it is.
2. Hints and passive aggression
What is it. Instead of talking openly about their desires and concerns partner as it pushes you to the right decision and secretly avenges you.
Why is that bad. This shows that you are closed at communication with the partner. There is no excuse for passive-aggressive behavior, which causes uncertainty and a false sense of security.
What to do. Openly talk about their problems and desires. And you will realize that your partner will support you.
3. emotional blackmail
What is it. One partner complaining about the behavior of another, threatens to break relations. Instead of saying, "It seems to me that you are to me indifferent," such people say "I can not meet with a person who does not show me any feelings."
Why is that bad. This is emotional blackmail, and it creates a ton of unnecessary problems. Every little quarrel swells to the size of an elephant. Partners is important to feel that they can express their dissatisfaction without prejudice relations as such. Otherwise, people suppress their feelings, which leads to distrust and manipulation.
What to do. Worry about problems in the relationship perfectly. This means that you normal man. But it is important to understand that the attachment to a person, and love - are two different things. Partners who can calmly discuss the problem without accusations of blackmail and strengthen relationships.
4. The prosecution in the partner's own experiences
What is it. Let's say you had a bad day. The only thing you want - to get back home. At such moments, it is important not to vent their bad mood on the partner. He is not to blame for the fact that everything is so bad.
Why is that bad. Blaming a partner in their own negative emotions - it is a subtle form of selfishness and a classic example of the inability to separate the personal from the general. When you blame the partner for their own bad feelings, you are creating a precedent that now you and your partner will arise association between negative mood and actions of the second half, although they are not connected. The life of one of the partners begins to rotate around another mood.
What to do about it. Take responsibility for your feelings. Remember, when people feel guilty, it gives them an incentive to hide their feelings and manipulate each other.
5. unhealthy jealousy
What is it. It annoys you, that your partner a lot of talking with another person. You become suspicious and try to control the partner's social circle: checking his phone, mail, social networks.
Why is that bad. Some believe that the lack of jealousy - a sign of indifference. But actually jealous creates a huge problem. He humiliates partner destroys trust.
What to do. Trust your partner. Trite, but no other way. Little jealous of course. But do not go too far. Do not humiliate the partner. You have to cope with bouts of jealousy.
6. Shopping and gifts as problem solving
What is it. After a major quarrel, many couples do not understand the problem, and try to forget about them by a shopping or expensive gifts.
Why is that bad. This not only pushes the problem in the relationship to the background, but also brings a mercenary. What happens if the guy after each infraction will drive a girl to a restaurant? This would give her an incentive to continually make guilty partner. The result - an irresponsible attitude, constantly offended by the girl and the guy, you feel the ATM.
What to do. Solve problems in relations. Trust has been undermined? Talk about it. Someone feels undervalued? Listen to a partner, take action. Naladte contact. Gifts can not restore confidence and healthy atmosphere. Make gifts, not because it's bad, but because things are good. Do not cover their own problems.