This article - part of the project and Layfhakera Joom how network changed our attitudes and lives. In the first article the author Layfhakera He toldAs two years to use the application for the dating and what came of it. In this we share stories about what relationship problems arise because of the different online habits of partners, and to understand how to resolve them. At the end of the article - the promotional code discount for profitable shopping.
1. Partner all the time sitting on the phone
- Decision: openly and politely explain to your partner why you it's frustrating. Do not gloss over the problem.
If you have enough 10 minutes to check out all the social networks and put your phone, it will be difficult to understand why the partner Leafs newsfeed evening long. The main thing - do not take up the habit at their own expense. Partner not necessarily sit on the Internet, because it is boring to you. For many people it's just a way to relax in your spare time. A person can not even guess about your feelings and do not understand the cause resentment - he just does what he likes. Calmly explain what you are feeling, and ask each other to dedicate a little more time.
I have an annoying habit of my men get stuck tightly in the evening in the news feed or product catalog. I wanted to chat, but I saw only the top of his head, and all communication came down to "Oh, there's a discount for it, do you think, get it?" Problem was solved banal conversation. However, not very calm. I held on to a critical level, and expressed everything: what a waste of time, as it spoils our relationship - yes, I'm a drama queen! It turned out that my man did not even imagine that it causes a storm in me. If we just discussed everything, the problem would be solved much earlier.
Eugene Sevastyanov, manager
2. Overly interested in online shopping
- Decision: calculate how much money is spent on the purchase, agree on a monetary limit for shopping.
Sitting on the internet - it's a waste not only time but also money. Online Shopaholic is sufficient for a moment to visit the site, as it is already going six parcels. Attempts to appeal to reason can not work: partner will claim that all this "stuff" and "nonsense". To avoid quarrels, look together in your purchase history, how much money is spent per month for online orders. Perhaps almost really affects hobbies partner on your budget. But if the little things translate into a substantial amount of money you could spend on a vacation or something important, set a monetary limit. Arrange a comfortable amount, you do not mind a month down on all the small stuff.
My partner played in tanchiki and bought some things in the game for money. He did not take his entire salary, but I still thought it was nonsense. And it seemed to him that I did not necessarily order his next cool earrings from an online store. As a result, we have agreed not to spoil each other's nerves, if small purchases bring joy. And the amount stipulated: everyone can spend $ 15 per month for all sorts of nonsense. Now we live happily ever after, and on budget is not particularly strikes.
Anya terns, Editor
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3. Partner does not like to upload your photos
- Decision: to understand what is the reason, to find a suitable for both the number of photos and for sharing agreement, to have a private account.
Do you want to post a lot of joint photos and tell about your love all over the world, and partner grumbles: "Enough to put everything on display." The simplest thing - to take offense and to decide what he'll hesitate. But this approach does not solve the problem. It is better to try to understand what is the reason. Perhaps your partner does not like the way it comes out in photographs. Or he is not ready to share some aspects of their personal lives. Or maybe you and not a very long time, and put together a photo for him - it's almost as important as the present partner parents. Treat with respect to any reason and select the appropriate compromise. For example, wait until the partner is ready to spread joint photos, arrange a number of such posts, do not share something very personal or even rewound private account, which will only see loved ones.
I like to post all-all-all-in Instagram, and my boyfriend puts pictures of nature once a year. Shine in the face of other profiles, he also does not like. But for me to go somewhere together without our photo - Mission Impossible. In the end, I was upset and said, "Apparently, you do not so much love." And he was angry, I'm trying to manipulate. The decision turned out like this: I have got a single closed profile, there are only two subscribers - me and him. There I can upload our pictures with all sorts mimimishnymi stickers and labels. As a result, I am happy that fotochki memory is, with filters and a range! And he was glad that the relations are not on public display. He also occasionally appears in the main profile, but less.
Eugene Sevastyanov, manager
4. Responds to operational messages in your spare time
- Decision: evaluate the importance to respond quickly to define "your" hours, when both of you are not using your phone.
Some people follow the rule "for the job - only office hours." Their annoying habit of others immediately respond to all alerts. If your partner in your spare time evading workers in chat rooms, try to find out from him how important it is to answer right now. In some cases, the problem really can not wait. Then look for a partner in a new way: as a responsible person, ready to help others. At the same time agreed that some hours you leave just for you two. At this time, no one will respond to the message and use the telephone unless absolutely necessary. For example, during a Sunday walk or when you go to dinner in a restaurant.
My husband - a football coach and he has a million chatik: with a team with colleagues and managers. Responding during training, he can not, therefore, is such that he did it after work, when we were having dinner. I did not like. Sometimes I have something to say, too, but more often simply take the phone. So our dinners became cheerless: Two people eating, buried in the mobile screens. Then we introduced a rule: no more telephones per meal. We simply remove them away and do not respond to the notification until dinner is over.
Tonya Rubtsov author
5. Does not like what you like
- Decision: just do something his own. Yes, it is normal.
Divergence of interests can be found even in the most loving couples. For example, you laugh at the performances of the English comedians in the original, and your partner does not understand the humor and requests something simpler. Or you evoke boredom interview on YouTube, and partner do not miss a single issue. The essence is the same: you find it difficult to find something that will please both you spend time on the endless search, swearing at, as long as someone does not give way. In this case, the right decision will be separate, and watch what is interesting for each of you, on different laptops. Or do other things while the partner is keen on a favorite "uninteresting" show.
My husband in the evening looking vidosiki any yutuberov that did not interest me. Well, let the looks - I have at this time the children went to bed, it does not bother me. Then together we can pozalipat little one in your game. I Gardenscapes, and he - some unknown shooter me. Sometimes we see something in common, for example, that are now revising the "Friends". But we are not a burden that each have their own hobbies.
Masha Pchelkina, Editor in Chief
6. He is fond of some nonsense
- Decision: it is assumed that the partner may like what you feel stupid, and do not try to change it.
This problem is similar to the previous one, but it has its own nuances. It so happens that you find no problem, something to do together, but the peer has passion that you feel very stupid. You do not understand why he spends time on it, because you can do something that you like both. We need to understand that for a man this lesson may be just a way that helps to unwind and disconnect the head after a hard day. In this case, it will have to just accept the fact that online games, SIFCO with seals or disputes with strangers in the comments - part of the personality of your partner.
My girl loves everything to photograph and upload. And often it does not happen in the most beautiful place, and, for example, in the elevator of our house. Since my childhood I do not like to be photographed, so I have this annoying. But she was so like it's all that I have decided not to resist. At the same time, she had resented that I play a lot on the computer. But I explained that this is my way of relaxing. She took it. It seems to me that it would be quite wrong to forbid a loved one to do what he likes, and try to change each other.
Victor Maslennikov author
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see alsođ
- 7 things that the Internet has changed forever in love and sex